Home sweet home for Avery...

Just a quick post today to update those of you who've been sending your good wishes to my niece. She is going home today or tomorrow!!! I created a quick digital collage based on one of my paintings, as I did not have time to create an original to anounce this great news!

Touch me...

Peace - 12 x 12 acrylic and mixed media on canvas

I hope that is one of the things my art says to people when they see it -- particularly in person. Perhaps this speaks to the human need for touch and my very personal subject matter; or it could be the endless array of textures in our wonderfully sensory universe that invite us to hold and touch and feel -- or a combination of these. I am most satisfied with my art when it is not just a visual experience but a tactile one as well.

On a similar note, the weather has turned warm - very warm - very fast, and I have the urge to walk barefoot in the grass. I love to feel the earth beneath my feet. Cool, scratchy blades of grass make my toes happy.

Leap...

Grateful heart - 6 x 9 acrylic & mixed media on MDF

Last week, I listed a whole bunch of things I wanted to get done during one two-day weekend. It was completely unrealistic, but more than that, it was really out of order in terms of where my priorities were, and where they should be -- I had listed primarily a bunch of house chores and spring cleaning, and at the very end -- the very last item was "stock up on canvasses and paint hearts."

Fortunately, a fellow artist pointed out that it should be at the top of the list -- and of course she was right. Her observation stopped me in my tracks because it was so obvious. For months (and months) I have been lamenting my lack of artistic inspiration and patiently (and then not so patiently) waiting for its return. And when it finally returns, with great momentum, I decide to clean my house, and even to dismantle my art room and re-arrange???? What's up with that??? It really made me ask myself why I would deiberately put obstacles in the way of my art-making. At first I didn't have an answer. I was just grateful that it was brought to my attention so that I could stop myself from self-sabatoge.

But the truth is that I know the answer. It's fear. Of the unknown. Of success. Of change. Of where this path may lead. It may require work, and sweat, and diving into uncharted waters.

I can't totally stop myself from feeling this way. But I hope that by being more aware will help me to step back, and take a deep breath and then... leap!

Twenty one days...

Wish upon a star - 8 x 10 acrylic & mixed media on canvas

Research shows that it takes 21 days to develop a new habit. I was thinking last night as I finished this piece that I am now is such a good routine of showing up each night to create. It occurred to me this morning that it's probably been a few weeks since I painted that first heart...and when I checked back at my previous posts, tomorrow will be exactly 21 days. I now wake up each morning and make sure my art room is ready to go for evening -- fresh water in my paint bucket, canvasses prepped, paints stocked -- because I awake already eager to return to my art.

How many good habits could we develop if we just commit to the 21-day theory? It seems too easy, really, but we could accomplish some amazing things if it works even some of the time. Twenty-one days goes by fast. Of course, all that said, for now I am just going to continue to paint. It's still a new enough habit that I don't want to disrupt the flow... and occasionally I'll fit in one of those items on my spring to-do list.

Believe...

Believe: 5 x 7 acrylic & mixed media on canvas board

Since her birth five years ago today,
my niece Avery has made us believe...

in miracles,
in love,
in the amazing generosity of friends,
in the amazing generosity of strangers,
in the strength of family,
in perseverence,
in the resilience of the human body,
in the powerful spirit of a little girl,
in what is important... and what is not.

Happy birthday Cutes!!
I believe in YOU!!

Where did the weekend go?

Original heart: 8 x 10 acrylic and mixed media on canvas board

As anyone with a concept of time could guess, I barely made a dent in my overly ambitious to do list, but one of my very wise friends reminded me that it will all still be there tomorrow (thanks FP!). And of course, it is!

I decided that I am not going to pull the carpet in my art room until I have 2-3 days in a row to spend making it right (so when will that be????). For one thing, I've been on a creative roll with my painting, so I don't want to wreck the space in which I paint and displace myself for any length of time. When I do this, I want to do it from start to finish in as short a time as possible...yes I can hear you all laughing (when will she learn??)

So for now, I will be happy that my winter clothes are packed away for another season, and thanks to my sister, who had a closet full of fabulous cast-offs, I have an entire new spring wardrobe --capris, dresses, shorts & sandals. (thanks Jesse)

And if all that wasn't enough, my niece Avery continues her amazing recovery. She's making laps several times a day on her unit, and she's eating solid food and gaining weight. She's still terribly thirsty and has to deal with a host of discomforts, but she scowls and voices her displeasure with great vigor!

My springtime to do list...

Express - 8 x 10 acrylic and mixed media on canvas board.

The list I have compiled for this weekend is sooooo long that I don't have a prayer of finishing it this month, let alone this weekend. But there is something about the first few really warm, sunny spring days that makes me think I can do it all in two days.

Here are just a few of the highlights:
Take down spring summer clothes from attic
Pack up winter clothes for attic
Donate unused clothing to goodwill
Prepare for snowstorm that is bound to follow such optimism
Rake grass & tidy garden
Touch up paint on split rail fence
Empty studio space, pull up paint-stained studio carpet & expose hardwood
Re-arrange studio space & clean out unused art materials
Donate unused materials before changing mind
Stock up on canvasses & paint hearts

And this list doesn't include the regular weekend errands, like Sat. am breakfast with my dog-walking buds, grocery shopping, laundy, walking max, cleaning house etc.

So, no doubt, something is bound to give. But right now, I believe I can do it all!!!

Footnote: Thank you to all who sent good wishes and hugs on my day of tears. I really needed that!! And it truly helped!!

A blubbering fool I am...

Hearts fly: 8 x 10 acrylic & mixed media on canvas board

I am in a bit of a funk today. Most days, I take what's dished out as well as the next person, but every now and then, the weight of my worries and my life and sadness just gets the best of me. I had a good cry this morning, and thought that would be the end of it, but sometimes when I let the flood gates open, it floods. And that seems to be what's happened today. Everything I see, and read, and feel is bringing me to tears --happy tears, sad tears, sentimental tears. Pathetic. Not a good way to go about work.

And this video was one of them.

Competing passions...and an Avery update...

Support - 10 x 10 acrylic and mixed-media on canvas.

I wish this artistic frenzy that I am in these days had hit me back in the cold, dark days of winter, although I am grateful that it has returned at all!!! And winter is such a time of hybernation that it was natural in some way. But now, I want to be outside gardening & soaking up some early spring sun and inside painting at the same time. I am sure I will find a balance (that's my Libra talking). The paintings need time to dry, so I am really learning to multi-multi-task... prep some canvasses, paint some, go outside and rake, come in and paint some more, go walk Max, etc.

About Avery...
For all of you who've sent notes and prayers and well-wishes and inquires, Avery was extubated earlier this week, which is HUGE in the world of her recovery. In addition to the fact that it means that she's doing most of her breathing with no assistance, it also means she can sip water and just generally be more comfortable. After seven open heart surgeries and several long hospital stays, it's always the intubation that she remembers -- and not fondly! Her meds are being decreased, her feeds/calories increased, and she's out of bed daily for physical therapy, so I thank you all, over and over, for your thoughts, prayers, and wishes. Right now, she's also enjoying a visit from her Poppy and Aunt Jesse, who brought her a Nintendo DS, so she is very excited!!

The measure of a heart...

Measure of a heart - 10 x 10 acrylic and mixed media on canvas.

This painting is a good example of perseverence. I started this with one series of colors, which I hated, and had to keep painting over (and over) until I could live with it, and then, eventually, I actually liked it. This often happens when I push out of my red/green/gold comfort zone and try new colors. They don't come as easily to me, so there's more trial an error. But that lends a depth to this piece that I really like...and you'd all be able to appreciate it more if I wasn't such a lousy photographer... which I would not be if I could muster the slightest interest in opening the manual to my now three-year old digital camera. Which I can't seem to muster. It just makes my head hurt.

Speaking of which, I have to call my mortgage company...again. That's a story for another day...righting so many wrongs this year!

Hearts in blue...

Hearts grow, 10 x 10 acrylic and mixed media on canvas


Hearts growl, 10 x 10 acrylic and mixed media on canvas

Although I have not remotely tired of painting hearts these days, I wanted to try a different color palette, and these colors remind me of early spring, when the browns of winter start to fade and robins begin to nest and lay their signature blue eggs. The second piece is a particular nod to my niece, who growls her frustrations at the doctors and nurses when she is intubated and cannot communicate with words. Her growl is always a sign that she's on the mend.

As always, thank you all so much for your thoughts and prayers and words of encouragement for my niece and my family, as well as for my art. I am able to face each day with renewed hope and courage in no small part because of each of you.

Trio of hearts - 2

This is my last post until at least Monday, friends, as I am headed to Boston to visit my niece and her parents in the hospital. I will bring with me all of your thoughts and prayers and wishes for her speedy and complete recovery. She is "moving forward" as my sister reported to us, which is of course the direction in which we want her to move, so that is very encouraging!!

I wish you all happy, healthy, peaceful holidays.

Here is my latest trio of paintings. These are "itty-bitties" at only 4 inches square. Tonight I hope to get out of my comfort zone with colors -- these dark reds and golds and greens are my signature colors, and I seem to end up with the same palette even when I think I am trying something different, so this will be a challenge for me.


Realize - 4 x 4 spackle, acrylic & mixed-media on canvas


Adore - 4 x 4 spackle, acrylic & mixed-media on canvas


Cherish - 4 x 4 spackle, acrylic & mixed-media on canvas

Trio of hearts

My niece continues to make progress in the cardiac unit at Children's Hospital in Boston, and as long as she is there, and perhaps for much longer, as the muse dictates, I will be painting hearts. It is my way of staying in the moment and sending all of my positive energy to her, as there's really not much else I can do. I have primed and prepped a variety of different canvasses in assorted sizes, and these three are the latest. I wanted to work on a few bigger square canvasses, but these dried first...


Wonder - 5x7 - spackle, acrylic, oil pastel mixed media on canvas board


Make a Wish - 5x7 - spackle, acrylic, oil pastel mixed media on canvas board

Heal - spackle, acrylic, oil pastel mixed media on canvas board

Nothing but hearts...

With my almost five-year-old niece Avery back in the hospital, recovering from complications following her most recent open-heart surgeries to repair a congenital defect, it shouldn't be surprising that hearts (or more specifically, her heart) are just about all I can think of these days, so for the foreseeable future, that is what I am painting. This painting includes a collaged calendar fragment of the month of April, which marks her birthday.


April Heart - 16 x 20, acrylic & mixed media collage on canvas.


April Heart - detail

Today, among the many, many things for which I am eternally grateful, are all of you who continue to send your thoughts, prayers and positive energy to my niece. I cannot begin to tell you how much it means to me and my family, not to mention how much it helps Avery. I believe it makes all the difference. Thank you.

Peace...

10 x 10 acrylic, oil pastel & collage on canvas.

I challenged myself recently (with the encouragement of this friend to paint on some larger canvases (16 x 20). It was really out of my comfort zone but I completed four pieces and then bought two even larger canvasses (18 x 24) -- although I have not started them yet -- but the fact that I purchased them means that I will continue to push myself from time to time. That said, my new favorite size is 10 x 10 square. I love the symmetry of the square, and the surface size just seems to work for me. This is my latest piece, which evolved over several weeks. I began with the color blocks, then defined the shapes in black pastel, and only yesterday added the stamped swirls, peace sign and letters -- which actually cover over another word that just didn't work for me. I'm glad I let it sit for awhile so that I could revisit it now and then and decide what it needed.

And today I am grateful for peace--
...a peaceful day for Avery and her parents
...the peace I feel when I spend time outdoors observing nature
...peace of mind that all my bills are paid
...the sense of peace I get when I am creating - painting, writing, working with my hands and heart and mind
...that I live in a peaceful place with the best of family, friends and neighbors

"Creative Awakenings"

...Envisioning the life of your dreams through art, by Sheri Gaynor (my creative coach, on and off, since 2007). Sheri -- an artist, writer, and licensed psychotherapist, to name just a few, describes the book as a "workshop in a book."

This is the project that I mentioned at the end of my gratitude giveaway post

I have only finished the very first project in the book, which is to purchase and embellish the cover of a sketchbook journal...(see above) and I totally didn't follow the rules for the cover - but I think that is okay. In fact, I think that's part of the point of these kinds of books. Take what you need to move forward and make it yours.

The next project is to answer a series of 7 questions, and of course, that's were I stopped, because that part really takes a lot of thought, (a.k.a. work) and I sometimes avoid work, if you can believe that.

But here is my "Book of Dreams" journal. I love the size, (9 x 12) which is bigger than my normal journals, and I love my cover, which is made with roof flashing and Claudine's sticky back canvas, and Artgirlz charms.

One of the many cool things about this workshop in a book is that it encourages group participation and discussion -- including an online salon -- none of which I am currently doing, by the way, but I still think the possibility of doing this kind of project with a small group would be motivating.

So, from time to time, I will include an excerpt or update or revelation based on my "Book of Dreams" journal.

And from the world of gratitude:
I am grateful for my amazing niece, Avery, who teaches me the real meaning of strength and determination every day.

Life is not linear...

It is not a neat and tidy progression in one direction. This is not a major revelation, of course, but I think sometimes, with clocks to measure time, and calendars to count the days and weeks and months and years, we expect a linear journey...and then we are reminded that it really doesn't work that way.



I had every intention of posting an update after my niece was released from the hospital in January... we celebrated Christmas on Valentine's day and our hearts were full of gratitude for her homecoming. In a very short time, Avery was back in preschool and life for her and her parents regained some normalcy...



But before I got around to posting that wonderful post, Avery was admitted to the hospital again this weekend, where she was treated for dehydration and the formation of some blood clots in her heart. She is now stable, but she may remain in the hospital for a couple of weeks while they monitor her and try to figure out exactly what happened. We may never know. Avery is a pioneer, in many ways, so there is little precedent for the journey to a strong, healthy heart, that she is traveling. I just wanted to thank all of you who've kept her in your hearts and minds and ask that you continue to do so as we all travel this journey full if twists and turns that is life.

My artistic equivalent of a welcome mat...

I love the look of a well-used, (well-loved) art space. It makes me smile and welcomes me to kick off my shoes, turn on my music and get my hands (and sometimes feet) dirty. Yes, my feet. I noticed this morning that I had black gesso on my big toe from dropping a paintbrush last night. Better black gesso than gangrene! And an obvious hazard of painting barefoot - if you tend to drop things as I do.

Although I like some neatness and organization, I have discovered that if my art space is too neat, it discourages me a bit from creating because I know that I will be making it messy. So I usually exist in a happy medium of somewhat organized chaos, like this picture suggests, with just enough space in the middle for a canvas.

And as a footnote, I have decided to include a note of gratitude at the end of each blog post,(until I forget to do so, which is bound to happen) in addition to my gratitude journal...

I am grateful for: a welcoming place to make art every day!

AND THE WINNER...

OF THE GRATITUDE GIVEAWAY IS...
DJ - !!!!
In addition to what was in the box when I posted the original giveaway picture, I am also including a small mixed-media piece that I have created recently (but not yet posted). I have sent an email requesting your mailing address DJ!

Enough --
10 x 10 mixed media: spackle, acrylic paint & collage on canvas


Thank you all for leaving such wonderful comments about all for which you are grateful. Not surprisingly, family, friends, good health and this amazing blogging community were among the many things we do not take for granted. That many of you also mentioned my blog meant a great deal to me. I blog for so many reasons, and from the beginning, I was unprepared for how rewarding this would be on a personal level -- sharing some of my art and observations and getting so much in return from each of you. Your comments, your blogs, your enthusiasm, your art...I could go on and on. I am grateful for the technology that makes this big ol' world smaller and more intimate than I would have expected when I began this journey.

For this reason, I chose a second name as a runner-up who will also receive a small mixed-media piece that I have created recently. (I made a lot of art this weekend!) And that winner is... SAUCY CHICK SHERRY...
And I have to say, I was thrilled to choose your name Sherry, as you mentioned in your comment that mine was the first blog you ever viewed -- but more remarkably, that you have continued to return all this time. Wow. I an so humbled by this. Thank you! Sherry - please email me at kerri.posson@nysna.org with your address so that I can send your art piece.

Stay tuned...
Later this week I will be sharing a new journal project in which I am involved. It's based on a brand new book by my creative coach, and it promises to be a great adventure!!

Red.

The title of my latest mixed-media painting. Also, that time of the month. (TMI??) I don't care. I'm in that kind of mood today. I think the muse has returned because I am becoming more myself. It's a process over which I have little control. Or perhaps I could control it but I no longer want to. I'm being very honest today. Not that my blog is a lie, but it's fairly heavily edited. I am usually careful to share only so much of myself in such a public forum. And I usually choose to share the good parts -or at least what I think are the safe parts. Not too revealing. Not too emotional. Not too personal. Not too mean. Not too sad. Not too petty. But you know what? Sometimes I am mean, and petty and sad and miserable. And during a week like this, I can be all of those things for half an hour, and then I am calm, and peaceful and fairly happy. For another half hour. And then who knows???

So that's where I'm at today. Right now. This minute. And I love every RED, manic, crazy, juicy minute of this life. And then I hate it. And then I love it. again.

Red. 16 x 20, mixed-media acrylics & collage on canvas.