Tuesday, December 22, 2015

Expectations...



are
just future resentments. (Something I read recently.)

This is a mind-blowing concept to me, but I get it. I get why it’s bad to have expectations. It’s really about living in the present moment. When I have an expectation, I am living in the future. My mind has orchestrated a future that is likely not to play out exactly as I expect (or often, not even close). I can honestly say I have done this a million times. I play out scenarios in my head about how something will go. And then I am disappointed or angry when what I imagined would happen, doesn’t. And not only that, what does happen Is fairly lackluster in comparison to my grandiose ideas. And then I resent someone or something that has not lived up to my…you guessed it. EXPECTATIONS.

And resentment is just anger and disappointment that I hang onto and allow to play out over and over in my noisy head, and that is living in the past – in a nutshell. 

Accepting what IS, as it plays out, in the present moment, is the key to happiness, peace, and contentment. 

This is a difficult one for me, and I’m guessing I’m not alone. I mean, isn’t it good to get excited and to anticipate future events? I am guessing that there may be a difference between some healthy excitement and anticipation, and a detailed internal script about how I expect events to unfold. And what about the past? Aren't memories of good times a good thing? They may make us feel nostalgic and warm and fuzzy, but if we are back there -- in the past -- we are not here -- in the now. Which is where we live. And according to the experts, if we aren't paying attention in the now, then we end up missing the point.

So, today, I release my expectations (most of them), and let go of my resentments (some of them) --  take a deep breath, and look around. I am here and now. Always. Well, not always, just until I die. But that’s enough. 

2 comments:

Createology said...

This is powerful and something I am working on. For me "perception" is my greatest foe. I shall be reading this post many times my friend.

Peggy Beck said...

I love this post. For my 16 years in marriage I expected things and I was so disappointed so many times. Eventually the resentment came and I went. I learned a lot then. You are spot on in your assessment and you are far from alone. I have learned many years ago to let go of the expectations and don't look to others to bring you what you want. You have grown so much and I am so proud to know you.

Keep up the good work. I love each and every one of your girls too. They say so much with nary a word written.