Tuesday, December 22, 2015


just future resentments. (Something I read recently.)

This is a mind-blowing concept to me, but I get it. I get why it’s bad to have expectations. It’s really about living in the present moment. When I have an expectation, I am living in the future. My mind has orchestrated a future that is likely not to play out exactly as I expect (or often, not even close). I can honestly say I have done this a million times. I play out scenarios in my head about how something will go. And then I am disappointed or angry when what I imagined would happen, doesn’t. And not only that, what does happen Is fairly lackluster in comparison to my grandiose ideas. And then I resent someone or something that has not lived up to my…you guessed it. EXPECTATIONS.

And resentment is just anger and disappointment that I hang onto and allow to play out over and over in my noisy head, and that is living in the past – in a nutshell. 

Accepting what IS, as it plays out, in the present moment, is the key to happiness, peace, and contentment. 

This is a difficult one for me, and I’m guessing I’m not alone. I mean, isn’t it good to get excited and to anticipate future events? I am guessing that there may be a difference between some healthy excitement and anticipation, and a detailed internal script about how I expect events to unfold. And what about the past? Aren't memories of good times a good thing? They may make us feel nostalgic and warm and fuzzy, but if we are back there -- in the past -- we are not here -- in the now. Which is where we live. And according to the experts, if we aren't paying attention in the now, then we end up missing the point.

So, today, I release my expectations (most of them), and let go of my resentments (some of them) --  take a deep breath, and look around. I am here and now. Always. Well, not always, just until I die. But that’s enough. 


Createology said...

This is powerful and something I am working on. For me "perception" is my greatest foe. I shall be reading this post many times my friend.

Peggy Beck said...

I love this post. For my 16 years in marriage I expected things and I was so disappointed so many times. Eventually the resentment came and I went. I learned a lot then. You are spot on in your assessment and you are far from alone. I have learned many years ago to let go of the expectations and don't look to others to bring you what you want. You have grown so much and I am so proud to know you.

Keep up the good work. I love each and every one of your girls too. They say so much with nary a word written.

Marilyn Rock said...

Kerri; I love you as a person and a dear, treasured friend. I am so proud of you for your self discoveries and the cleansing you are going through. Personal struggles are varied and they come in many forms. But; the steps you are taking are admirable and I just know you will keep growing and thriving.

I'm one of your dedicated fans, and you have many, and I, too, have been through "the peeling of the onion" and while it's difficult, it's doable. I have complete faith, in you, that you will get to know more of the beautiful YOU! Inside and out!

I love you my friend! M