Monday, April 19, 2010
The voices in my head...
Those who know me well know that I can talk alot. A LOT. A really, really lot. But if you could hear the inner dialogue, the one in my head that virtually never shuts up, you'd wonder how I could ever have a coherent thought or idea. And you'd no doubt be grateful that for all that I talk about, there is so much that I don't share. Because, in fact, a lot of it is imaginary.
Imaginary conversations, imaginary arguments, little scenarios that I run through my mind when things are bothering me but I have yet to act on them. Sometimes I am trying certain ideas on for size, and seeing what might or might not work. And sometimes this is good, but often, I think it's just a very big waste of mental energy on what-ifs. On problems that don't even really exist, but that I make up in my overactive imagination. I don't think I am alone in this. Or maybe I am. I am told that meditation helps, but it may come as no surprise that I am not very good at meditation BECAUSE I CAN'T SHUT MY MIND UP!!
For me, art is my best form of meditation. It anchors me in the here and now. It quiets my overactive mind. Instead of mulling over the I should haves and the I wish I hadn'ts and the what ifs, I engage my eyes and hands and mind in a form of creation. Art is real. It is now.