Monday, December 03, 2007
Truth in blogging...
My sister Jennifer's boss has come to the conclusion after reading my blog for awhile that my sister and I are nothing alike.
In some ways, this is absolutely accurate. My sister fancies herself somewhat of a princess -- by her own admission -- which would make me the court jester, or a serf, I think. For example, she has her hair done at an expensive salon and "mani-pedis" on a regular basis. I have had two manicures in my entire life and I've never had a professional pedicure. If I had better bone structure, I think I would shave my head, or at least wear a very short pixie cut, as I hate even thinking about hair maintenance. I am happy when my hands are not covered in bandaids from the minor injuries I regularly inflict on them - oven burns and minor knife wounds usually. My current "purse" was originally a vendor giveaway -- my sister's many purses are named after people like Kate Spade. Our local mall has some new stores this year, and we are both equally excited - she can't wait to step foot in Sephora, a store devoted to high end makeup, fragrances and skin care items. I am thrilled that I can now try on my L.L. Bean duck boots before buying them! I have a dog on whom I spend more money for grooming than I do on myself. She barely tolerated the pets she was forced to share a home with when we were children. I can spend an entire weekend reading a good book, and I would guess I read about 30-40 books a year. My sister recently confessed that she's reading a lot more these days too. She's finished three books this year.
But beyond these superficial differences, his conclusion is based on the fact that he knows my sister very well - the way that colleagues who spend many years working together do - and he knows me primarily through my blog, where I exercise the right to edit my thoughts so that readers see what I want them to see. Although we are different, we are also alike in many ways that he doesn't see, because I have crafted a certain image of myself here.
I do want my blog to reflect my authentic self -- who is, in addition to the artistic, nature-loving, dog-crazy woman I've portrayed, also a moody, self-centered, short-tempered, and contradictory individual at times. So I've decided that every now and then, I am going to share random details about me that I normally would not. By the way, I am not implying for one instant, that this is how my sister and I are alike-- that she can be moody, self-centered or short-tempered...just ask her boss.
I'll start with this list I've been compiling in my head for awhile -- That's right. When I'm not pursuing loftier goals like art and reading, this is the crap that fills my head...
(Some) people who annoy the crap out of me...
1. People who stand in lines while talking loudly and animatedly on cell phones. I think this is a form of noise pollution. Such people should maintain a reasonable distance from those of us who are forced to listen -- like stay at home until you're done talking. I don't want to hear your half of an annoying conversation that could have waited until you were in your car talking illegally while driving (which I also hate).
2. People who can't park their cars within the white lines, thereby wasting a space that I could have parked in. I may walk two miles a day with my dog, but I want to pull up close when I'm dashing into the liquor store!
3. People who don't have their cards and deposits ready at the drive-up ATM when they get to the window. Am I the only person who fills out the deposit slip and gets my card ready BEFORE I am parked at the window? If you're not ready when I pull up behind you, please pull around and get behind me.
4. People who don't use turn signals. When I'm tailgating, you'd better let me know that you're turning, or I might accidentally rear-end you.
5. People who have daily bowel movements at the office. Is this really necessary? How can you even relax enough to do this within such close proximity to your colleagues? And how do you manage to disappear so that it looks like I LEFT THAT odor when I leave the restroom?
6. People who are dieting and then explain in minute detail all the little bitty things they barely ate today. "I had green tea and half a rice cake for breakfast, then a lowfat string cheese for a snack, then the hard boiled egg - but only half the yolk for lunch, and 18 almonds - I must confess I like the salted ones, so I mix them with the unsalted so they're not as bad." Oh shut up. I had a turkey sandwich at 10 am, with chips and a pickle, and then in the afternoon, I tried to steal someone's microwave meal out of the freezer because, of course, I was hungry since I ate my lunch at 10 am. And I can't wait to get home and have half a pound of pasta with pesto sauce, garlic bread and a glass or three of wine.
So there it is...another side of me. I hope I don't run into any of you on the drive home...literally.