Albany Rural Cemetery. Altered angel. April 2014.
I want to preface this post with the acknowledgment that I am a very fortunate woman. I have a good job and a comfortable home and good health. Most importantly, I am surrounded by the most supportive and amazing friends and family in the world. I am grateful each and every minute for all of my blessings.
That said, this has been a difficult six months two weeks, three days, and nine hours for me (but who's counting?). I am learning a lot about myself, and not all of it is good. For one, I have a very low tolerance for suffering. Like, practically non-existent. I really like it when the world goes my way. It reminds me of that saying,"If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans."
And not only do I like to get my way, like a petulant three-year-old, I am an incredible brat when I don't. And I hate brats -- I have no tolerance for them, even when they're ME.
Have you read about the theory that it takes 21 days to form a habit? Well this is another thing I have learned about myself. It takes me about 1 hour, give or take, to form a bad habit, but it takes me about six months to develop a good one. So I've spent a lot of the last six months drinking and swearing and sitting on the sofa wishing that I enjoyed kale and exercise.
All of that said, this incredibly depressing stone angel seemed to be rock bottom for me, no pun intended. All of a sudden after this post, I am getting the hang of my job and feeling competent. My morning routine is falling into place, and I don't feel like an exhausted, disheveled mess every day. My mind is spinning with creative ideas that I can't get onto paper quickly enough -- because I do have to capture them quickly, or they disappear -- this is another thing I have finally learned!!
I am hopeful that this little bit of discomfort that I've had to endure in my amazingly good life will improve my character just a tiny bit. And if not, who cares? The world is going my way again, and that makes me happy. (I know, I have not evolved at all.) ;o)