Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Stone angel

Albany Rural Cemetery. Altered angel. April 2014.

I want to preface this post with the acknowledgment that I am a very fortunate woman. I have a good job and a comfortable home and good health. Most importantly, I am surrounded by the most supportive and amazing friends and family in the world. I am grateful each and every minute for all of my blessings.

That said, this has been a difficult six months two weeks, three days, and nine hours for me (but who's counting?). I am learning a lot about myself, and not all of it is good. For one, I have a very low tolerance for suffering. Like, practically non-existent. I really like it when the world goes my way. It reminds me of that saying,"If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans."

And not only do I like to get my way, like a petulant three-year-old, I am an incredible brat when I don't. And I hate brats -- I have no tolerance for them, even when they're ME.

Have you read about the theory that it takes 21 days to form a habit? Well this is another thing I have learned about myself. It takes me about 1 hour, give or take, to form a bad habit, but it takes me about six months to develop a good one. So I've spent a lot of the last six months drinking and swearing and sitting on the sofa wishing that I enjoyed kale and exercise.

All of that said, this incredibly depressing stone angel seemed to be rock bottom for me, no pun intended. All of a sudden after this post, I am getting the hang of my job and feeling competent. My morning routine is falling into place, and I don't feel like an exhausted, disheveled mess every day. My mind is spinning with creative ideas that I can't get onto paper quickly enough -- because I do have to capture them quickly, or they disappear -- this is another thing I have finally learned!!

I am hopeful that this little bit of discomfort that I've had to endure in my amazingly good life will improve my character just a tiny bit. And if not, who cares? The world is going my way again, and that makes me happy. (I know, I have not evolved at all.) ;o)


Marilyn J. Rock said...

Will I love you help?

fran pascazio said...

How about a great big hug and an ear?

Lisa said...

Kale is fu#$%^g disgusting. :)You know what is great? Strawberry frozen margaritas!!!!!
We should have a drinking art night!!!!!

Createology said...

I agree there is nothing good about Kale. I agree with how quickly we pick up a bad habit and how slowly we change it or let it go. I know for certain you are not alone in this life of challenges. I am 65 and still trying to figure out who and what I am. Thankfully you are blessed and grateful and you excel in your artistic creativeness. Write fast so none of those great ideas get away from you. Blessings Dear...

Peggy Beck said...

Ah, the ebb and flow of life Kerri. When we experience discomfort with ourselves it is because we are growing. Going from one phase to another. Then we begin to be comfortable again and we are the wiser and more creative than before. Glad to see you have risen to a new level. I know you will flourish here. As for kale, I put it on a baking sheet with olive oil and salt and put it in the oven for about 20 minutes. Its crispy and delicious. Chips.