Friday, March 14, 2014

Self-discovery


I have been experimenting a bit --  combining my illustrations with my mixed media heart paintings, in a digital re-mix of sorts. I really like the results, and it is funny how I can find an illustration and then a heart painting that seem to just go together. 

I learned something about myself this week. It is at the heart of my struggles with finding my next life. I had dinner with friends on Sunday -- friends I have know for almost two decades -- friends with whom I worked for most of the last twenty years. I was telling them about my "adjustments" at my new job. And one of them asked me, "Well, would you prefer a job that was incredibly exciting and challenging, but didn't have the security of the job you had now?" My response was, "Well, I don't want to be working until 7 pm every night." Let's ignore the fact that this wasn't even an answer to her question. The most interesting part was that it is a lie. And I didn't even know it at the time...

Later in the week, I was talking to my sister, and I told her about this conversation, and she said "But the best week of work youv'e had so far, you were working until 7 pm. I called you one night when you were still at work, and you sounded awesome." And she's right, of course. I was challenged. I was engaged. I was problem-solving. 

But why did it take someone else to point out that obvious fact about ME?! If I am that unaware of what really brings me satisfaction, then it's no wonder I've been miserable lately.

And I also discovered another related truth during this conversation -- I don't mind working longer hours, but I also want flexibility. If I do work until 7 pm, when necessary, I'd like the option of coming in late, or leaving early another day. I have great difficulty with rigid time constraints.

Such valuable information about my next life ... challenging, engaging, flexible. That's a start.

7 comments:

fran pascazio said...

All your anxieties will soon fall into place….one at a time…and you will then be in a great place again! I understands your concerns, however, about the rigid time restraints from your present employer! I guess there is good and bad in everything. You'll pull it all together, soon.

Peggy Beck said...

That is a good start to your creating the life you love. You are on the right path and I know you ail be there sooner than you think. You have a world of friends out there to cheer you when you need it. Use them…They ail will be honored to help chase those blues away!

Peggy Beck said...

I forgot to add that this combo digital and painting are awesome and I love the results. Perhaps the heart paintings were done just for this purpose. A stepping stone to your next adventure in art and life.

Marilyn J. Rock said...

You will settle in to your new life soon Kerri. This all takes time and with a little help from your friends :) There's always a balancing act with changes in our lives.

It's the rebel in us :) Remember? We're the "no rules" gals - don't like being restrained.

Perhaps once you've had more time in your new job, there might be room for negotiation. I'm sure, already, your co-workers know how talented and capable you are. Gift it some time my friend.

See you soon :) Love ya - M (a fellow rebel)
PS Love your digi-mixed media art!

Createology said...

How delightful to see your mixed media girl within a heart. Time to adjust is on both sides of the work force...employees and employers. If you enjoy your work that is a gift in itself. Blessings Dear...

julie king said...

catching up with you here and empathizing with some of what you are going thru. truly creative people don't like rigidity so feel blessed that you are getting validation of your creativity. i love what you're doing with your art! a whole new look. thanks for your sweet comment on my blog earlier this week. i am alive and well and will be posting an update on my blog later tonight. ((hugs))

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