Thursday, September 09, 2010

I'm the boss!!!


I was recently reminded by a long-time friend (that would be you, Victor) whom I haven't seen in years that I was a totally bossy, uncompromising bully of a kid growing up. -- These are my words, by the way, not his (though I am fairly certain that he would not argue with my choice of adjectives). He merely reminded me that I was "the Boss" of the neighborhood "clubhouse" when we were kids. The "clubhouse" was actually a small shed that my dad erected at the far corner of our property. I believe his intention was to house wood & tools from the elements in the Northeast, but we quickly moved in little chairs and a rusty make-believe kitchen set, and, presto-change-o, we had a clubhouse. I think dad exercised his property rights in the winter, but for several summers, it was our little fiefdom in which to inflict childhood insults and injuries.

It could be that my take-charge attitude stemmed from the fact that the shed was built by my dad on our property, and that I was the oldest of our group of neighborhood kids, and I took full advantage of that esteemed position. But whatever the reasons, I remember now that I liked being the boss. I made and enforced rules, instituted dues, and changed them all to suit myself. I was a perfectly corrupt little dictator, to be sure, but I was also a confident. outspoken, take-charge individual, and this recollection surprised me.

Because somehow, slowly, over the years, in the process of becoming an adult (and a woman) I have frequently abandoned my obvious zest for leadership. In so many of my life's roles, I have taken on a passive or secondary position, even when I would have done well for myself and others to take the reins. Victor reminded me that I was once a force to be reckoned with, and as I (FINALLY) approach the signing of some very important papers that release me to the next chapter of my life, I needed that reminder.

5 comments:

fran pascazio said...

Kerri,
I, on the other hand, was a timid follower growing up. I have evolved to becoming an outspoken, tell-it-like-it-is person as I become a "senior" ugh!!! However, I do see you as a leader - you are brave and have so much to give. The turn in your life gave you strengh and courage. I also see a new confidence in you that I didn't see when I first met you. I'm glad I know you! Keep that beautiful smile on your face as you forge forward to a wonderful new beginning.
PS - Loved the post! I can just picture that little club house.
good wishes

Anonymous said...

Your description of you as a little girl reminds me of a little girl that we love so much. "Avery". Hmmm interesting!

xoxo Love ya Sisser!

Peggy Beck said...

I would never have guessed but believe today that you certainly can lead anyone anywhere you want them. You are charming and sweet and I just love you. Love the post. Saw your art on Washington Ave. Endocrinologists office today. nice.

Createology said...

Very important to remember our strengths and use them to make our best life possible. I know you as a strong woman who can take charge and move forward. I think you are wonderful and I am so very happy to be your blog friend. Smiles...

julie king said...

i used to be a strong independent woman. then i got married (for the second time) and somehow completely lost myself. it made me sad, depressed and lonely. recent decisions and choices i've made have me growing wings and getting back the person i used to be and love. it may be months before my important papers are signed but friend to friend we share some common feelings these days, i'm sure!