Wednesday, February 27, 2008
I want to be in control!
...and sometimes, I don't get to be, and when that happens, I get all discombobulated...and grumpy...and sometimes, downright mean (mostly to my husband)...who is the reason I am not in control. (this time).
I like to plan and organize and check things off of my list. I like it when things happen the way I expect them to. And while I know that control is an illusion, I live quite happily within that illusion much of the time, until life pulls the rug out from under me.
The events that transpired were not earth-shattering, and in many ways, the change of plans worked in my favor, so I was surprised to find myself floundering. Now what do I do? I actually had a weekend free that was not supposed to be. I should have used that time wisely to accomplish one of the dozens of other things on my list...but instead, I wandered and squandered the time I had -- because I couldn't change gears quickly.
Now I'm wondering if I've always been this way, or if it's because I'm not as flexible and easy-going as I was at 25. I welcome a change of pace and I am refreshed by new opportunities, but I like to plan them, and anticipate them. I don't want them thrust upon me. And that's a problem.
I am reminded of this quote:
"If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans."
I must keep him in stitches.
(Here's a little digital collage I made today, just for fun.)