Wednesday, February 27, 2008

I want to be in control!

...and sometimes, I don't get to be, and when that happens, I get all discombobulated...and grumpy...and sometimes, downright mean (mostly to my husband)...who is the reason I am not in control. (this time).

I like to plan and organize and check things off of my list. I like it when things happen the way I expect them to. And while I know that control is an illusion, I live quite happily within that illusion much of the time, until life pulls the rug out from under me.

The events that transpired were not earth-shattering, and in many ways, the change of plans worked in my favor, so I was surprised to find myself floundering. Now what do I do? I actually had a weekend free that was not supposed to be. I should have used that time wisely to accomplish one of the dozens of other things on my list...but instead, I wandered and squandered the time I had -- because I couldn't change gears quickly.

Now I'm wondering if I've always been this way, or if it's because I'm not as flexible and easy-going as I was at 25. I welcome a change of pace and I am refreshed by new opportunities, but I like to plan them, and anticipate them. I don't want them thrust upon me. And that's a problem.

I am reminded of this quote:
"If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans."

I must keep him in stitches.

(Here's a little digital collage I made today, just for fun.)


Cindy Dean said...

You sound so much like my sister Lynn. Maybe that's why I like ya so much! LOL I am a fly by the seat of my pants kinda girl. I would probably drive you nuts!

Debbie said...

Yes, as a fellow control freak I totally relate! I constantly remind myself control is only an illusion but my brain just doesn't want to believe it!! And ah - my FAVORITE quote. That is the real reason God has not wiped us off the face of the earth. Too many of us are just plain too amusing!!

I really love your new header. I think it is my favorite so far!!!!

Marilyn Rock said...

Great post Kerri! I can relate to it in so many ways. This past year that is one of the things I've been struggling with; giving up some of my control issues more in my personal life than art world. It's probably my age that I've reached and changes are occurring frequently within me and my loved ones. I've never liked sailing, but I'm trying to learn to constantly re-adjust my sails :)

I love your digi collage!! It made me smile! Thank you!

Anonymous said...

YES! I understand that feeling of floundering when plans change. Sometimes our brains are just so set that they can't change course. It's not that our hearts aren't willing, our bodies just can't go!

Here's to changing mid-stream, when it's possible and surviving when it's not!

Figaro said...

Aaaah...So that's where your sister gets it from. What a control freak she is! Are you all like that in your family? : )