More about Avery...

Avery continues to be stable overnight. Although 12 hours have passed, I would guess it's still quite imperative that they keep her stable, and the echmo bypass does a percentage of the work of her heart, which I am sure is giving her coronary artery some relief.

Avery's parents will be meeting with her medical team today to decide on the next course of action, as there are still some alternatives, as I understand it.

One big question among everyone - first and foremost my sister - is how her stats could have been good enough to release her when something was so wrong. We don't have an answer to that yet.

FYI The photos above are of Avery enjoying her 5th birthday cupcake last week.

URGENT PRAYER REQUEST FOR AVERY...

As many of you know, my niece was scheduled to go home yesterday, but after some consideration, my sister and the doctors decided not to postpone her catheterization, so the did it this afternoon -- and they have found that her "coronary artery is shot" -- I know very little else because when my mom called with the update she was not able to relay much in a coherent way. Avery is back on Echmo -- which is the temporary bypass machine -- and I have been told that the next 12 hours are critical, because the cardiac cath can cause bleeding, which would be very serious in her current condition. I wish I knew more and will tell you when I do.

So in whatever way you pray, or summon all of the good of the universe, please do so for Avery.

I cannot thank you all enough for all that you have already done for us to make this ordeal bearable.

Home sweet home for Avery...

Just a quick post today to update those of you who've been sending your good wishes to my niece. She is going home today or tomorrow!!! I created a quick digital collage based on one of my paintings, as I did not have time to create an original to anounce this great news!

Touch me...

Peace - 12 x 12 acrylic and mixed media on canvas

I hope that is one of the things my art says to people when they see it -- particularly in person. Perhaps this speaks to the human need for touch and my very personal subject matter; or it could be the endless array of textures in our wonderfully sensory universe that invite us to hold and touch and feel -- or a combination of these. I am most satisfied with my art when it is not just a visual experience but a tactile one as well.

On a similar note, the weather has turned warm - very warm - very fast, and I have the urge to walk barefoot in the grass. I love to feel the earth beneath my feet. Cool, scratchy blades of grass make my toes happy.

Leap...

Grateful heart - 6 x 9 acrylic & mixed media on MDF

Last week, I listed a whole bunch of things I wanted to get done during one two-day weekend. It was completely unrealistic, but more than that, it was really out of order in terms of where my priorities were, and where they should be -- I had listed primarily a bunch of house chores and spring cleaning, and at the very end -- the very last item was "stock up on canvasses and paint hearts."

Fortunately, a fellow artist pointed out that it should be at the top of the list -- and of course she was right. Her observation stopped me in my tracks because it was so obvious. For months (and months) I have been lamenting my lack of artistic inspiration and patiently (and then not so patiently) waiting for its return. And when it finally returns, with great momentum, I decide to clean my house, and even to dismantle my art room and re-arrange???? What's up with that??? It really made me ask myself why I would deiberately put obstacles in the way of my art-making. At first I didn't have an answer. I was just grateful that it was brought to my attention so that I could stop myself from self-sabatoge.

But the truth is that I know the answer. It's fear. Of the unknown. Of success. Of change. Of where this path may lead. It may require work, and sweat, and diving into uncharted waters.

I can't totally stop myself from feeling this way. But I hope that by being more aware will help me to step back, and take a deep breath and then... leap!

Twenty one days...

Wish upon a star - 8 x 10 acrylic & mixed media on canvas

Research shows that it takes 21 days to develop a new habit. I was thinking last night as I finished this piece that I am now is such a good routine of showing up each night to create. It occurred to me this morning that it's probably been a few weeks since I painted that first heart...and when I checked back at my previous posts, tomorrow will be exactly 21 days. I now wake up each morning and make sure my art room is ready to go for evening -- fresh water in my paint bucket, canvasses prepped, paints stocked -- because I awake already eager to return to my art.

How many good habits could we develop if we just commit to the 21-day theory? It seems too easy, really, but we could accomplish some amazing things if it works even some of the time. Twenty-one days goes by fast. Of course, all that said, for now I am just going to continue to paint. It's still a new enough habit that I don't want to disrupt the flow... and occasionally I'll fit in one of those items on my spring to-do list.

Believe...

Believe: 5 x 7 acrylic & mixed media on canvas board

Since her birth five years ago today,
my niece Avery has made us believe...

in miracles,
in love,
in the amazing generosity of friends,
in the amazing generosity of strangers,
in the strength of family,
in perseverence,
in the resilience of the human body,
in the powerful spirit of a little girl,
in what is important... and what is not.

Happy birthday Cutes!!
I believe in YOU!!

Where did the weekend go?

Original heart: 8 x 10 acrylic and mixed media on canvas board

As anyone with a concept of time could guess, I barely made a dent in my overly ambitious to do list, but one of my very wise friends reminded me that it will all still be there tomorrow (thanks FP!). And of course, it is!

I decided that I am not going to pull the carpet in my art room until I have 2-3 days in a row to spend making it right (so when will that be????). For one thing, I've been on a creative roll with my painting, so I don't want to wreck the space in which I paint and displace myself for any length of time. When I do this, I want to do it from start to finish in as short a time as possible...yes I can hear you all laughing (when will she learn??)

So for now, I will be happy that my winter clothes are packed away for another season, and thanks to my sister, who had a closet full of fabulous cast-offs, I have an entire new spring wardrobe --capris, dresses, shorts & sandals. (thanks Jesse)

And if all that wasn't enough, my niece Avery continues her amazing recovery. She's making laps several times a day on her unit, and she's eating solid food and gaining weight. She's still terribly thirsty and has to deal with a host of discomforts, but she scowls and voices her displeasure with great vigor!

My springtime to do list...

Express - 8 x 10 acrylic and mixed media on canvas board.

The list I have compiled for this weekend is sooooo long that I don't have a prayer of finishing it this month, let alone this weekend. But there is something about the first few really warm, sunny spring days that makes me think I can do it all in two days.

Here are just a few of the highlights:
Take down spring summer clothes from attic
Pack up winter clothes for attic
Donate unused clothing to goodwill
Prepare for snowstorm that is bound to follow such optimism
Rake grass & tidy garden
Touch up paint on split rail fence
Empty studio space, pull up paint-stained studio carpet & expose hardwood
Re-arrange studio space & clean out unused art materials
Donate unused materials before changing mind
Stock up on canvasses & paint hearts

And this list doesn't include the regular weekend errands, like Sat. am breakfast with my dog-walking buds, grocery shopping, laundy, walking max, cleaning house etc.

So, no doubt, something is bound to give. But right now, I believe I can do it all!!!

Footnote: Thank you to all who sent good wishes and hugs on my day of tears. I really needed that!! And it truly helped!!

A blubbering fool I am...

Hearts fly: 8 x 10 acrylic & mixed media on canvas board

I am in a bit of a funk today. Most days, I take what's dished out as well as the next person, but every now and then, the weight of my worries and my life and sadness just gets the best of me. I had a good cry this morning, and thought that would be the end of it, but sometimes when I let the flood gates open, it floods. And that seems to be what's happened today. Everything I see, and read, and feel is bringing me to tears --happy tears, sad tears, sentimental tears. Pathetic. Not a good way to go about work.

And this video was one of them.

Competing passions...and an Avery update...

Support - 10 x 10 acrylic and mixed-media on canvas.

I wish this artistic frenzy that I am in these days had hit me back in the cold, dark days of winter, although I am grateful that it has returned at all!!! And winter is such a time of hybernation that it was natural in some way. But now, I want to be outside gardening & soaking up some early spring sun and inside painting at the same time. I am sure I will find a balance (that's my Libra talking). The paintings need time to dry, so I am really learning to multi-multi-task... prep some canvasses, paint some, go outside and rake, come in and paint some more, go walk Max, etc.

About Avery...
For all of you who've sent notes and prayers and well-wishes and inquires, Avery was extubated earlier this week, which is HUGE in the world of her recovery. In addition to the fact that it means that she's doing most of her breathing with no assistance, it also means she can sip water and just generally be more comfortable. After seven open heart surgeries and several long hospital stays, it's always the intubation that she remembers -- and not fondly! Her meds are being decreased, her feeds/calories increased, and she's out of bed daily for physical therapy, so I thank you all, over and over, for your thoughts, prayers, and wishes. Right now, she's also enjoying a visit from her Poppy and Aunt Jesse, who brought her a Nintendo DS, so she is very excited!!

The measure of a heart...

Measure of a heart - 10 x 10 acrylic and mixed media on canvas.

This painting is a good example of perseverence. I started this with one series of colors, which I hated, and had to keep painting over (and over) until I could live with it, and then, eventually, I actually liked it. This often happens when I push out of my red/green/gold comfort zone and try new colors. They don't come as easily to me, so there's more trial an error. But that lends a depth to this piece that I really like...and you'd all be able to appreciate it more if I wasn't such a lousy photographer... which I would not be if I could muster the slightest interest in opening the manual to my now three-year old digital camera. Which I can't seem to muster. It just makes my head hurt.

Speaking of which, I have to call my mortgage company...again. That's a story for another day...righting so many wrongs this year!

Hearts in blue...

Hearts grow, 10 x 10 acrylic and mixed media on canvas


Hearts growl, 10 x 10 acrylic and mixed media on canvas

Although I have not remotely tired of painting hearts these days, I wanted to try a different color palette, and these colors remind me of early spring, when the browns of winter start to fade and robins begin to nest and lay their signature blue eggs. The second piece is a particular nod to my niece, who growls her frustrations at the doctors and nurses when she is intubated and cannot communicate with words. Her growl is always a sign that she's on the mend.

As always, thank you all so much for your thoughts and prayers and words of encouragement for my niece and my family, as well as for my art. I am able to face each day with renewed hope and courage in no small part because of each of you.

Trio of hearts - 2

This is my last post until at least Monday, friends, as I am headed to Boston to visit my niece and her parents in the hospital. I will bring with me all of your thoughts and prayers and wishes for her speedy and complete recovery. She is "moving forward" as my sister reported to us, which is of course the direction in which we want her to move, so that is very encouraging!!

I wish you all happy, healthy, peaceful holidays.

Here is my latest trio of paintings. These are "itty-bitties" at only 4 inches square. Tonight I hope to get out of my comfort zone with colors -- these dark reds and golds and greens are my signature colors, and I seem to end up with the same palette even when I think I am trying something different, so this will be a challenge for me.


Realize - 4 x 4 spackle, acrylic & mixed-media on canvas


Adore - 4 x 4 spackle, acrylic & mixed-media on canvas


Cherish - 4 x 4 spackle, acrylic & mixed-media on canvas

Trio of hearts

My niece continues to make progress in the cardiac unit at Children's Hospital in Boston, and as long as she is there, and perhaps for much longer, as the muse dictates, I will be painting hearts. It is my way of staying in the moment and sending all of my positive energy to her, as there's really not much else I can do. I have primed and prepped a variety of different canvasses in assorted sizes, and these three are the latest. I wanted to work on a few bigger square canvasses, but these dried first...


Wonder - 5x7 - spackle, acrylic, oil pastel mixed media on canvas board


Make a Wish - 5x7 - spackle, acrylic, oil pastel mixed media on canvas board

Heal - spackle, acrylic, oil pastel mixed media on canvas board

Nothing but hearts...

With my almost five-year-old niece Avery back in the hospital, recovering from complications following her most recent open-heart surgeries to repair a congenital defect, it shouldn't be surprising that hearts (or more specifically, her heart) are just about all I can think of these days, so for the foreseeable future, that is what I am painting. This painting includes a collaged calendar fragment of the month of April, which marks her birthday.


April Heart - 16 x 20, acrylic & mixed media collage on canvas.


April Heart - detail

Today, among the many, many things for which I am eternally grateful, are all of you who continue to send your thoughts, prayers and positive energy to my niece. I cannot begin to tell you how much it means to me and my family, not to mention how much it helps Avery. I believe it makes all the difference. Thank you.

Peace...

10 x 10 acrylic, oil pastel & collage on canvas.

I challenged myself recently (with the encouragement of this friend to paint on some larger canvases (16 x 20). It was really out of my comfort zone but I completed four pieces and then bought two even larger canvasses (18 x 24) -- although I have not started them yet -- but the fact that I purchased them means that I will continue to push myself from time to time. That said, my new favorite size is 10 x 10 square. I love the symmetry of the square, and the surface size just seems to work for me. This is my latest piece, which evolved over several weeks. I began with the color blocks, then defined the shapes in black pastel, and only yesterday added the stamped swirls, peace sign and letters -- which actually cover over another word that just didn't work for me. I'm glad I let it sit for awhile so that I could revisit it now and then and decide what it needed.

And today I am grateful for peace--
...a peaceful day for Avery and her parents
...the peace I feel when I spend time outdoors observing nature
...peace of mind that all my bills are paid
...the sense of peace I get when I am creating - painting, writing, working with my hands and heart and mind
...that I live in a peaceful place with the best of family, friends and neighbors

"Creative Awakenings"

...Envisioning the life of your dreams through art, by Sheri Gaynor (my creative coach, on and off, since 2007). Sheri -- an artist, writer, and licensed psychotherapist, to name just a few, describes the book as a "workshop in a book."

This is the project that I mentioned at the end of my gratitude giveaway post

I have only finished the very first project in the book, which is to purchase and embellish the cover of a sketchbook journal...(see above) and I totally didn't follow the rules for the cover - but I think that is okay. In fact, I think that's part of the point of these kinds of books. Take what you need to move forward and make it yours.

The next project is to answer a series of 7 questions, and of course, that's were I stopped, because that part really takes a lot of thought, (a.k.a. work) and I sometimes avoid work, if you can believe that.

But here is my "Book of Dreams" journal. I love the size, (9 x 12) which is bigger than my normal journals, and I love my cover, which is made with roof flashing and Claudine's sticky back canvas, and Artgirlz charms.

One of the many cool things about this workshop in a book is that it encourages group participation and discussion -- including an online salon -- none of which I am currently doing, by the way, but I still think the possibility of doing this kind of project with a small group would be motivating.

So, from time to time, I will include an excerpt or update or revelation based on my "Book of Dreams" journal.

And from the world of gratitude:
I am grateful for my amazing niece, Avery, who teaches me the real meaning of strength and determination every day.

Life is not linear...

It is not a neat and tidy progression in one direction. This is not a major revelation, of course, but I think sometimes, with clocks to measure time, and calendars to count the days and weeks and months and years, we expect a linear journey...and then we are reminded that it really doesn't work that way.



I had every intention of posting an update after my niece was released from the hospital in January... we celebrated Christmas on Valentine's day and our hearts were full of gratitude for her homecoming. In a very short time, Avery was back in preschool and life for her and her parents regained some normalcy...



But before I got around to posting that wonderful post, Avery was admitted to the hospital again this weekend, where she was treated for dehydration and the formation of some blood clots in her heart. She is now stable, but she may remain in the hospital for a couple of weeks while they monitor her and try to figure out exactly what happened. We may never know. Avery is a pioneer, in many ways, so there is little precedent for the journey to a strong, healthy heart, that she is traveling. I just wanted to thank all of you who've kept her in your hearts and minds and ask that you continue to do so as we all travel this journey full if twists and turns that is life.

My artistic equivalent of a welcome mat...

I love the look of a well-used, (well-loved) art space. It makes me smile and welcomes me to kick off my shoes, turn on my music and get my hands (and sometimes feet) dirty. Yes, my feet. I noticed this morning that I had black gesso on my big toe from dropping a paintbrush last night. Better black gesso than gangrene! And an obvious hazard of painting barefoot - if you tend to drop things as I do.

Although I like some neatness and organization, I have discovered that if my art space is too neat, it discourages me a bit from creating because I know that I will be making it messy. So I usually exist in a happy medium of somewhat organized chaos, like this picture suggests, with just enough space in the middle for a canvas.

And as a footnote, I have decided to include a note of gratitude at the end of each blog post,(until I forget to do so, which is bound to happen) in addition to my gratitude journal...

I am grateful for: a welcoming place to make art every day!

AND THE WINNER...

OF THE GRATITUDE GIVEAWAY IS...
DJ - !!!!
In addition to what was in the box when I posted the original giveaway picture, I am also including a small mixed-media piece that I have created recently (but not yet posted). I have sent an email requesting your mailing address DJ!

Enough --
10 x 10 mixed media: spackle, acrylic paint & collage on canvas


Thank you all for leaving such wonderful comments about all for which you are grateful. Not surprisingly, family, friends, good health and this amazing blogging community were among the many things we do not take for granted. That many of you also mentioned my blog meant a great deal to me. I blog for so many reasons, and from the beginning, I was unprepared for how rewarding this would be on a personal level -- sharing some of my art and observations and getting so much in return from each of you. Your comments, your blogs, your enthusiasm, your art...I could go on and on. I am grateful for the technology that makes this big ol' world smaller and more intimate than I would have expected when I began this journey.

For this reason, I chose a second name as a runner-up who will also receive a small mixed-media piece that I have created recently. (I made a lot of art this weekend!) And that winner is... SAUCY CHICK SHERRY...
And I have to say, I was thrilled to choose your name Sherry, as you mentioned in your comment that mine was the first blog you ever viewed -- but more remarkably, that you have continued to return all this time. Wow. I an so humbled by this. Thank you! Sherry - please email me at kerri.posson@nysna.org with your address so that I can send your art piece.

Stay tuned...
Later this week I will be sharing a new journal project in which I am involved. It's based on a brand new book by my creative coach, and it promises to be a great adventure!!

Red.

The title of my latest mixed-media painting. Also, that time of the month. (TMI??) I don't care. I'm in that kind of mood today. I think the muse has returned because I am becoming more myself. It's a process over which I have little control. Or perhaps I could control it but I no longer want to. I'm being very honest today. Not that my blog is a lie, but it's fairly heavily edited. I am usually careful to share only so much of myself in such a public forum. And I usually choose to share the good parts -or at least what I think are the safe parts. Not too revealing. Not too emotional. Not too personal. Not too mean. Not too sad. Not too petty. But you know what? Sometimes I am mean, and petty and sad and miserable. And during a week like this, I can be all of those things for half an hour, and then I am calm, and peaceful and fairly happy. For another half hour. And then who knows???

So that's where I'm at today. Right now. This minute. And I love every RED, manic, crazy, juicy minute of this life. And then I hate it. And then I love it. again.

Red. 16 x 20, mixed-media acrylics & collage on canvas.

Gratitude giveaway!!

As a follow-up to yesterday's post about my gratitude journal, I decided to assemble a box of goodies* for one lucky blog reader. Among the many things I am grateful for is the fact that anyone bothers at all to stop in and read this thing, so I want to say thanks to all of you. Just leave a comment about something for which you are grateful between now and 5 pm on Thursday, March 12.
On Friday, March 13, with much fanfare and probably some wine, I will ask a friend to pull a name out of a hat or shoe or something, and I will post the name of the winner, and arrange for shipment. ...I will probably add a few things between now and then too!
If you are unable to leave a comment, feel free to email me. My email address can be found by clicking the link at the right for "View my complete profile" and then clicking the email link.

*So far, the box includes a set of rubber stamps by Hero Arts, a fleece throw, a handmade memo board with easel, incense, chopsticks, and an assortment of art & craft supplies.

A glimpse of gratitude

Here is a glimpse of my first gratitude journal, which is almost full. What a great feeling to have a book full of gratitude!
It was so satisfying and therapeutic to keep this journal as it made me look back on each day, even the not so fabulous ones, and find the good parts...and there were always good parts, even in the midst of worry and stress and occasional heartache. I found that there are always dozens of things to be grateful for in an ordinary day, and ending even a bad day by trying to find the best parts meant that I took good thoughts with me into slumber...which in turn would carry forth to the next day.

This particular journal began as an altered book. It was an old book, so the spine is wonky and I had to glue groups of pages together for stability. I also began by embellishing each page with just a bit of art -- mostly paints, rubber stamps, doodles and decorative borders. Just enough color and texture so that picking it up is a celebration of sight and touch. It invites gratitude, I think. If you've been wanting to venture into the world of journaling, but want to start with small steps, I encourage you to begin with a gratitude journal. It's remarkably easy and uplifting. I like altered books as journals because the pages are already filled and I find the text-filled backgrounds less intimidating than plain white pages, but just pick a book (or make a book) that feels good to you. I don't impose too many rules for myself when I embark on this kind of project. I didn't have a set number of items for which I should be grateful, and I didn't do it everyday. Some days I was just bubbling over with gratitiude - like when my niece was on the mend from her recent surgeries. Other days I did it because my day had seemed so awful, and I wanted to pull myself out of a bad mood -- and it worked every time. Consciously reminding myself of my blessings made them multiply, it seemed. Really, I was just making myself more aware - it was a great exercise in living more joyfully.

Ebb and flow...

I think there is a natural ebb and flow to the creative process -- much like the tides - the pull of the moon - the seasons - joy and sorrow - wakefulness and sleep. Nature's rhythms are at work all the time, and though we cannot see them, we are always responding to these powerful forces around us. For this reason, it is important to pay attention to our urges and desires. If we listen closely, they are telling us what we need. My friend, artist Marilyn Rock, commented in my last post that "these breaks in creativity are necessary." While I found my period of artlessness frustrating and even scary at times, I think she's right. I tried to force it a few times, and the results were just that -- forced. I was not engaged in the process and therefore the product was unsatisfying -- not good or bad -- but not from that magical place where creativity just bursts forth.

Above is last night's painting. I cannot tell you the last time I spent two consecutive evenings for hours just painting. I wanted to create another study in texture, but I did not prep the canvasses in advance, so the textured canvasses are still drying, and this was a study in layering color and form.

Mystery : 16 x 20 mixed media painting: acrylics & plastic lizard adhered w/ beeswax

The muse seems to have returned...

After a long period of artlessness, I had a strong urge to return to my art room late yesterday afternoon and paint. I took a brief break to walk Max and have a bite to eat, and worked well into the evening. Since I rise early each day to walk Max and begin my day, I try not to stay up too late, but it was almost midnight when I put down my paintbrush. I was playing a lot of country and bluegrass music, which must have made its way into the painting that resulted. I had absolutely no intention when I began this piece except to keep my brush moving and play with texture and color, so I was surprised to step back and see the finished piece, with its barnlike colors and feel. The evening flew, and I felt exhilarated to have finally broken through my inertia of the past few months. I cannot wait to get home tonight and paint again.

When I thought about it, I was surprised to find, if I really asked myself what took so long, that there was an underlying fear about returning to my art. What if I have no inspiration? What if I just can't do it? What if it's bad? All the old fears fell away when I just decided to move the brush and let go of thinking about it so much.

Wind: 16 x 20 mixed media painting: acrylics, spackle, tissue, & found objects on canvas

A project using Claudine's sticky-back canvas...

During a collaborative art day with my friends Marilyn and Laura late in the fall, my contribution was this miniature tryptich/wall hanging which begins with pieces of roof flashing and Claudine Hellmuth's sticky-back canvas, from her line of Ranger products. I used various inks, rubber stamps, and embellishments on the canvas before adhering it to the flashing and assembling the hanging.

Gratitude today, for:

Avery's continued progress (next stop will be home, hopefully this week!)
A new cd - Zac Brown Band (Chicken Fried - I love that song!)
Pic from my friend Marilyn's 60th birthday party (see here)
Lingerie sale at Macys - $9.99 bras - that's only $5 a cup!!
White broccoli lasagna, friends & family (for dinner tonight)
...and so many things too numerous to list. I am wealthy, blessed.

A visit with "Cutes"...

My niece Avery continues to make great progress, and we are very hopeful that she'll be out of the cardiac ICU this week and in a regular room, which is the next step before she (and her parents) gets to go home.

I visited with my dad & sister Jennifer this weekend, and we were thrilled to see her REAL personality, which has been subdued by the slow healing process until now...and subdued is not an adjective that would normally describe Avery -- even when she's sleeping.

Fortunately, the Avery we saw was mischievous, cute, giggly, short-tempered, funny, thirsty, amused, affectionate, determined, sarcastic, thoughtful, demanding, dramatic, feisty, bossy, and adorable, to name just a few. (Oh, and amazing. Really. And I'm not just saying that because I'm her aunt.)

Just art!

Here's a journal page exercise that I created about a month ago when I got together with my friends Laura and Marilyn. Laura "prompted" us to cut out magazine faces and then have fun doodling around them.

I am off to visit my niece at Children's Hospital (Boston) this weekend, so this post is brief.

Thank you all for your caring and inspiring comments. Your words are a source of strength and comfort and sheer joy!!

This year.

Pick one word.

Another year. gone.
Along with 35 extra pounds.
And one husband. (and his recliner).
And a heap of emotional baggage.
I only accomplished goal number one on my list of 7 from last year, but somehow I still feel as though I achieved a great deal -- perhaps because goal number one was such a big one:

To be healthy and strong- both mentally and physically.That was it.

And I am.
Words are powerful. Declarations. Goals. Intentions.Whatever you call them, when you say them, or write them down with conviction, and take the slightest step toward them, they materialize.

With that said, my big goal for this year is to get my financial house in order. My house. My last name (Stabile, by the way). My life.
Last year, I discovered the blog of Christine Kane, who suggested picking just one word as your touchstone for the year. I did make a list of goals as well, but I liked the simplicity of just one word and how it could be so powerful in guiding one's intentions. Last year, I chose the word health. And it worked.

My word for this year is WEALTH. I am not just referring to financial wealth, although right now that would be refreshing -- but wealth as it relates to friends, neighbors, love, family, opportunity, and abundance...not just money but the real richness of life. But if I am to be completely honest, then also money, as it relates to security and the ability live a richer, fuller life.

Beyond that, I will also revisit some of the other goals I listed last year.

(Atwork featured are sections of two acrylic and mixed media paintings in progress.)

This is a magic microwave shampoo cap that washes and rinses Avery's hair without water, while she sits in bed!!! Amazing!!!!

Avery had a great day. She was able to come off her bipap machine 3 times - for 3 hours each time. This will help her build up her respiratory muscles and test the left side of her heart out to also excercise it - to accomodate to pumping all that blood flow that it has never needed to.

All of her "numbers" and her exam tell us she is tolerating this well - but we are told it does take time for this process to occur.

She continues on her feedings through her jejunal tube - but we have had a hard time keeping it in place. It seems to spontaneously slip out into her stomach. ideally - they would like it past her stomach into her intestinal area so that if she does have any vomiting - she does risk choking or aspiratig on her feedings.

Avery was excitied to see her Aunt Jesse, Poppy, Gram Toole and Uncle Kevin come visit her today!

She is currently watching "Enchanted" (one of her favorite movies) with her dad and we will be getting an x-ray momentarily to see if the new feeding tube is in the correct position. Hopefully it will be - and we will all be settling in to get some rest.

--Thanks to all for your prayers, kind words and good wishes. I was with Avery on Christmas and she is doing even better today, as reported by my dad & sister!!!

Merlot & Marmalade...

Actually, it was pinot grigio and marmalade, but I liked the alliteration. My friend Ali, known to some of you as the grubby wench (her soap company), in addition to being a saponification expert, is also an excellent cook, and she agreed to help my friend (or perhaps former friend?) Anne, and I to make some marmalade. I beg the question about Anne's friendship because she volunteered her kitchen, which -- after a long day, several bottles of wine, (good food) a lot of singing and dancing and pot-watching -- did not fare well. In addition to getting the hot, sticky stuff all over the stovetop, counters, and floor, we somehow managed to pour some in between the glass panels of her oven door. Oops! If anyone has a tip for how to clean that up, I'd love to hear it.

Avery welcomes the winter!

Happy first day of winter everyone! Sorry for the long delay. Tis the season to fall behind on virtually everything. Add to the regular busy-ness of the holidays an ice storm that left me (and much of the Northeast)without power for days, and blogging just falls to the bottom of the list for awhile!

So the news of the day is that my niece is recovering from 2 major open heart surgeries, and is coming through like the tough cookie we all know and love. Today a hospital employee brought her 2 big buckets of fresh snow from last night's storm which she promptly decided she had to taste!! (see the picture above) She's still on breathing assistance for a few days, but slowly being taken off of machines and meds as her body gradually takes over all of the work by itself.

I thank you all for your words of support, prayers and good wishes. I pass them on daily to her parents and they have helped everyone to get through this time knowing how many wonderful people are thinking of their daughter.

No Christmas shopping is necessary this year. Avery's recovery is all we could ever ask for!

Avery rocks!

My heartfelt thanks to all of you who've kept my amazing (if I do say so myself) niece --and her parents & family -- in your thoughts and prayers this week. She was in surgery for 10 hours to work on her left ventricle and also to receive a mechanical heart valve. She will be sedated for at least another 24 hours, but her stats have been great and I've been told she looks excellent. FYI - she frequently looks very puffy and swollen for many days after her surgeries, and my sister and mom have been particularly pleased with how she looks this time, which is one of many signs that her heart is working better than it was before the surgery.

She still has another procedure ahead, and depending on how her stats hold up once she is awake and moving around, it may be done before the Christmas holiday (before scar tissue can build up), so I will continue to update you all on her progress and to ask for you to continue to keep her close in your hearts and minds.

In the meantime, I leave you with Avery's rendition of "These boots are made for walkin'" (or is it, Steak on the Roses??)inside joke

FYI, if any of you have been wondering, Avery is in the care of an amazing surgeon, cardiologist and medical professionals in the cardiac unit at Children's Hospital in Boston.

I am planning to see her this coming weekend, and will give a first-hand update at that time!!!
-Aunt Kerri signing off for now.

Sweet and strong...

After a somewhat sudden, though not entirely unexpected turn of events, my niece Avery will be undergoing her fifth open heart surgery either Wednesday or Thursday of this week, to replace her aortic valve and continue to correct a congenital heart defect.

I am asking my blog readers to send all of your positive thoughts, good wishes and prayers her way. This strong, feisty four-year-old is my biggest hero and these recent pics don't begin to capture her enormous personality

Sweet decay...

gray days
a damp chill in the air
the smell of wet leaves
a barren tree silhouetted against a cloudy sky
a gust of wind that sends the last leaves dancing across my lawn
a myriad of browns where once there was color

I love not just the bright, colorful majesty of early fall, but the fragile beauty of decay as autumn exhales its last sweet breath to old man winter.