Feeling Heart-y these days...

The actual page was a bit washed out but Photoshop makes it all better. Speaking of which, I have to post the announcement for an upcoming class... more very soon!!!

The heart remembers

Summer is usually a time for me to regroup and redirect my creative energies outdoors, but some recent rainy days have been a great time to hang indoors and paint. (beats cleaning!)

14 x 11
plaster, mixed media and collage on canvas

On the one-year anniversary of Avery's new heart...

Excerpted from a letter written by Avery's mom... (I could not have said it better!)

Life, loss and new beginnings...

Hi everyone!!

A year ago today, (Aug 6) Avery received the gift that would save her life! At 2:00 am this morning we received the page we never thought would come to let us know "the perfect heart had been found!"
At 5:00 am she went into the operating room at Children's and 18 hours later at 11:30 pm she came out of the OR and into the cardiac ICU...bleeding and very very sick - to spend the following few months healing and recovering.

As you may remember - Avery was also 100% sensitized to her donor due to the 9 open heart surgeries (8 of which required CV bypass) , 4 ecmo runs and thousands of blood products in her 5 years life. This basically placed her at a VERY (the highest) risk for rejection within her first year especially.

On Monday - Avery had her 1 year biopsy and her results were 100% CLEAN !! No cellular or humoral rejection -- her heart function is perfect and for the first time in her entire life -- she has run , bounced, jumped and giggled as much as she can without turning blue...gasping for air or coughing to catch her breath.

She truly is celebrating a new "birth" (life) day and we are so incredibly fortunate for the miracles we have been blessed with!

What makes this year a DOUBLE gift for us...is something beyond anything we could hope for last year at this time.

A week from today - we will be meeting Avery's donor family for the first time. We have been fortunate to be in touch since last Thanksgiving -- having sent a letter through the New England Organ Bank.

Next week - we will meet his family. We will spend a week together...celebrating the life and getting to know more about the beautiful little boy who now "beats life" into Avery...as well as the extraordinary family who are beyond incredible to share what they have and will with us.

So - as we reflect on how fortunate we were to see Avery start the life she never had before this day last year...we are reminded intimately at what cost that came to another family and what they were able to gift to us at the most horrific time of their life.

They are and will always be our family...

(I will be joining them for part of this trip, and I am filled with gratitude for the opportunity.)

Altered wish...

This is a digitally altered version of a painting I made over the summer. I had some Photoshop fun with cropping and filters to alter it into a holiday piece. Since it's December already (can you believe it??), I thought an altered Christmas tree would be appropriate. My posts this month will probably be few and brief, as I have not purchased a single gift, baked a cookie, or written a card yet. In fact, this may be as close as I get to a holiday card at the rate I am going!

While I love the act of giving someone a perfect and thoughtful gift, more and more I resent the pressure to buy, buy, buy during this season. I realize that this mind set will not help the economy, but I am hoping to find creative ideas for giving that don't always involve a trip to the dreaded mall.

Oh, and I almost forgot...
My friend Marilyn is introducing a new monthly "featured artist" on her blog, and she has invited me to be the first. Here's my interview.

Giving thanks...

Among the many, many blessings that my family and I will give thanks for this year is my niece Avery, who has been home now for a month. She now has a new heart, and we have renewed hope for her future and endless gratitude to her donor family, for the most amazing gift our family could ever receive.

We are looking forward to a day of love, laughter, celebration and most of all, gratitude tomorrow, and I wish you all the same!!!

Here are the most recent photos of Avery, home one month (no more tubes, and two missing teeth!).

Happy thanksgiving.

Heart rock...

Cool to the touch. Solid. Heavy. Strong. Enduring.

Heart lock...

Heart lock - 10 x 14 acrylic & mixed media collage on deep set canvas

...and speaking of hearts...my niece Avery's new heart continues to beat perfectly and there are no signs of rejection. She's been out of the ICU and on the regular cardiac floor for several weeks now, and is up and about every day, with her energy and humor and spicy personality intact, so it is just a matter of time (a short time we hope) before she is able to go home! Nutrition, eating solid foods and balancing her meds are all that keeps her there at this point.

So once again, my own heart is full of gratitude to all of you who have kept her in your hearts and minds for most of the last full year. My heart bursts with thanks for the basic goodness and generosity of humanity.

Light hearted

Lighthearted - 12 x 12 acrylic & mixed media collage on canvas.

This piece is very whimsical to me. I've had that light bulb in my stash of found objects for years, and it fell on the floor as I was digging through a basket for something else. The colors in the painting matched it perfectly...so that's a perfect example of how I find inspiration. If I had dropped some old teeth on the floor it would probably have gone differently, but fortunately it was a cute little pink light bulb.

Some believe...

Some believe - (trio) 5 x 5 acrylic, mixed media & collage on canvas.

I am in a mood today, or more accurately many moods. They change by the moment. I am uncomfortable in my skin when I get this way, but I know I just have to ride it out.

Do you ever ask yourself if you are enough? Or simply why? Or how?

True...

True - 10 x 10 acrylic, mixed media & collage on canvas.

There is major construction taking place on my regular route to and from work, and it is virtually impassable during commuter hours these days, so I took a side road into work today. As I wound this way and that before being deposited just above the traffic jam, I gave a moment's thought to the creation of roads, and how some of them go straight from point A to point B, while others, like the one I was on, have dips and curves, meandering this way and that before reaching their end.

It could be that winding roads are that way because making them straight would have meant plowing through rock or impossible terrain, but I like to think that some creative soul made them that way because they make the ride better - more rhythmic and fluid.

Either way, it also reminded me to take the side road more often - just for the change in scenery and the enjoyment of the journey.

Home...

Home - 18 x 24, acrylic & mixed media on canvas

This is a gift for a friend who just bought her first home. As any of my regular blog readers know, home is a recurring theme in my art and a very important symbol in my life. It represents security, family, comfort, love, and acceptance - the one place I always feel grounded and real and safe.

I wish you all a good weekend and a place to call home.

More little heart paintings...

Heart swirls - 4 x 4 mixed media and acrylics on canvas.

I am 45 today. Probably more than halfway there.

Truth...

Truth.
11 x 14 mixed media and collage on canvas.

I am working a lot with rusty pieces of flotsam and jetsam that I find primarily on my dog walks. Although there are ways to rust new objects with chemicals and smelly stuff (liver of sulfur), I prefer to find items that have survived the elements. In addition to being rusted, they are usually mangled and crushed and run over and abused, and something about this appeals to me -- perhaps that they have managed to survive, and to me, all that weathering adds a beauty that was lacking in their original form -- another metaphor for life.

Some new art pieces...

Just a little fun in my studio.

Life. Love. Joy. Hope. Peace.
5 x 5 mixed media & collage on canvas

No additional words necessary.

To fall in love. 10 x 10 acrylic & mixed media collage on deep set canvas.

Heart strength

16 x 20, mixed media acrylic & collage on canvas

I have a number of new paintings in the works - several more in the heart series, which will continue at least until my niece gets her transplant*, and a new series of 4(or 5) for an upcoming local show with a new group of artists that I have joined. I will be providing more info as the date gets closer and when the official logo for our group has been approved.

*FYI, Avery is doing very well with her Berlin heart, eating, drinking, making crafts and even taking trips out to the hospital garden during the day.
I am also on the verge of meeting with one of my co-conspirators in art to discuss some workshops that we would like to offer, so teaching will be back on the table very soon.

I would tell you more, but so many details are still up in the air.

Tomorrow I will share some photos from a weekend luncheon and artist's date that I attended. It was so great to hang with a group of "art girls" for an afternoon.

From her little heart...

From her little heart - 12 x 12 acrylic mixed media collage on deep set canvas.

I've finally returned to my art room after an unplanned hiatus, and this is my first finished piece. To give you an idea of how I create, and the kind of planning that goes into my paintings...I dropped a paintbrush on the floor as I was working on this piece, and saw the watch faces in a box under my table as I bent to pick it up. That's how it ended up as part of this painting. It's very often that simple. It's one of the reasons I like to have art supplies and found objects stored in open containers around me. It looks messy and chaotic, but if they're in my line of sight, and I don't have to break the creative flow to find them, they're more likely to end up in a finished piece.

In other news...
I was interviewed a short time ago by fellow artist and blogger Liz Ness, and the interview has now been published on her blog. Check it out. Liz and I have never met in person, but we've been fans of each other's art and blogs for several years. Take your time when you visit Liz' website and blog (which she maintains with friend and artist Jackie Wood) -- it's full of great artist interviews, digital tutorials, product demos, and a great online store, to name just a few.

Heal...

Heal: 12 x 36, Acrylic & mixed media on deep set canvas

This was a painting I made as a gift for the CICU at Children's Hospital when I last visited. It was late May, but it already seems like ages ago, given all that has happened since then.

I think I may have been hiding a bit behind my sister's "Avery updates" these past few days. I am reluctant to share all the thoughts and emotions that continuously run through my head and heart. It's too close, too much, too fluid. It changes so often that by the time I write something down, it's no longer quite accurate. So instead, I leave you with this confusing jumble of words.

And always, gratitude. For your friendship, thoughts and prayers for my niece and our family.

PS - Avery was awakened very briefly last night -she waved at her mom & dad, wiggled her toes and opened her eyes briefly before falling back into much-needed slumber.

More miracles please...

This was Avery on Valentines Day of this year, in between her two very long stays in the hospital. She is back on ECMO now, which is just buying her time until she (hopefully) can get a new heart. Her amazing little heart has done all it can and can no longer work on its own.

I just want all of you who visit my blog to know how grateful I am for your kind words, thoughts, prayers and insights for Avery and our family. I know that we are blessed, every minute of every day, and I do not take it for granted.

Miracles happen...

10 x 10 acrylic and mixed media painting on deep set canvas.

My apologies for dropping off the blog-o-sphere for awhile. The warmer months (though they've not been terribly warm so far) bring with them a lot of outdoor chores and activities that consume time I might otherwise spend blogging or painting, or doing any other number of essentially indoor activities.

I finished this painting last night while waiting for a call from my mom about Avery. She needs a miracle these days my friends. In spite of her absolutely fierce determination, which is evidenced daily by her expressions and gestures, she continues to have a tough fight ahead of her. I hope to know more tomorrow, but a heart transplant may be her next hurdle.

Please continue to keep Avery in your hearts, minds and prayers along with her parents and the medical team who are working so hard to get her home and back to a normal little girl's life.