A mischievous elf...

Avery at Christmas, 2011.
I hijacked this picture off of my sister's ofoto account. I think it was supposed to be our Christmas card, but either I've been dropped from the mailing list or (more likely) my sister didn't have a chance to send cards. I know, she looks so grown up, doesn't she? She'll be eight in April, but like so many precocious little girls, she is often seven going on seventeen.

She had a brief overnight in the hospital just before Christmas due to an intestinal bug and some dehydration, but overall, she is doing awesome, and we don't ever take this smile for granted!!

Merry Christmas...

I wish you all a magical, miraculous holiday season. Once again, I thank you all for your prayers, support, encouragement and friendship during this past year. I am blessed beyond all measure.

I don't know when I'll have an opportunity to post again during the next week or so as I'll be off to spend Christmas in Boston with my mom, sisters, and especially, Avery. I am looking forward to waking up to her beautiful face on Christmas morning.

This montage of photos was taken on thanksgiving day this year. Last year, Avery's journey began on Thanksgiving day, and we could never have imagined all that would take place in the next twelve months.

This year, many of my thoughts and prayers will be with the family of Avery's donor, and the angel with whom she shares a heart.

A trip to the city...

Dec 5-6.

NYC to be exact. It was great. I went with my Aunt, Mary (with me, at right), and we were hosted by my cousins, her sons, Adam & Scott. We had three great meals (lunch & dinner on Sat, and then brunch on Sun), as well as fabulous seats to see Wicked. I find musicals to be a bit over the top, and can only take them in small doses, but it was a great show, and the set was phenomenal.

One of the highlights for me was a trip to the MOMA, where my cousins left me in search of a bar with a football game airing. I only had a couple of hours, but I could easily have spent all day. It's an amazing building, and I was awed to be in the presence of such incredible art. And yes, I chose the MOMA over a bar! It doesn't happen often, folks.

When I told my sister Jennifer that I wanted to see the MOMA, she said, "What's the MOMA?"

"The Museum of Modern Art."

And she said, "Seriously!?"

I said, "Yeah, why? Where would you go?"

She replied "Jimmy Choo!"

And I said, "What's Jimmy Choo?"

"A shoe store - from Sex in the City!"

So when we did find ourselves passing Jimmy Choo, on our way to dinner at the Monkey Bar, we had to stop for the photo! Notice the shoes, attached to the half-naked lady in the window. Kind of like the MOMA!

Courage, Brains...and HEART!

(from my sister's update...)

I'd be tender, I'd be gentle
and awful sentimental
regarding love and art
I could stay young and chipper
and I'd lock it with a zipper
If I only had a heart.... xo

Hi everyone,
Avery is doing spectacular! She is walking almost on her own, eating (she grazes all day long), weaning on her oxygen, and just looks like the Avery we remember almost a year ago - when this unbelievable journey came to a peak last November when she was admitted the day before Thanksgiving due to her human aortic valve deteriorating.
That was really the start of this extraordinary experience - having a mechanical aortic valve placed in early December followed by a bi-ventricular repair (a 14 hour bypass surgery) in mid-December, and then emergency surgery a week later (on a Sunday night in a blizzard) when the OR team was called in from home to repair her pulmonary artery which was bleeding around her heart.
After weeks of recovery - she was finally discharged home January 26, 2009 - skinny and week - but fortunate to have 2 ventricles (or so we thought).
Avery was home for 7 weeks but on March 22nd we brought her to the emergency room at around midnight for a "belly ache" and what we thought would be a stomach virus. Neither Mike nor I were overly excited about sitting in the ER for 6 hours to be told - "make sure she drinks plenty of fluids" but she had come so far and we didn't want to take ay chances - even if it meant a tired Sunday the next day.
A couple of hours later, Avery went into cardiac arrest -- her first of what would end up being 3 arrests due to coronary artery clotting, spasms and heart ischemia. Avery also suffered severe pulmonary and GI hemorrhages from damage to her lungs and CPR with extensive anticoagulation.
On June 10th she had her 3rd cardiac arrest and was placed on ECMO for the 4th time. She was officially listed on the heart transplant wait list on June 14th as a Status 1A.
On June 15th - Avery had her bi-ventricular artificial heart pumps placed and was changed temporarily to a hold -- or "Status 7" on the transplant list to allow her to recover from her VAD surgery.

On August 6th - Day # 51 on the transplant wait list, Avery received the ultimate gift that would save her life and allow her, with a beautifully healthy heart - to heal the many many parts of her body that had suffered from an extremely sick, exhausted, dreadfully damaged heart.
Avery's liver, lungs, kidneys, pancreas, stomach, bowel, skin, muscles and nerves (especially those in her legs from the ECMO cannulas) were all effected - but are ALL recovering now that she has the heart of her super hero beating life (and love) into her every second of every day!
...and because of this...and Avery's inexplicable WILL to live (as Dr. Laussen eloquently stated one grim night on ECMO) - her spirit, sheer guts, and love for life and all it hands her remains completely unscathed.
On Monday, Avery will have her 4th routine post transplant biopsy and if all goes as planned - she will be transferred to the cardiac floor (OUT OF THE ICU!!!!) sometime during next week.
She has been in the ICU 180 days (which does not include Thanksgiving, December and January)
As I write this - Avery is sleeping peacefully arms above her head, her covers kicked off...as she rests up to welcome another tomorrow. Her DVD player is at the end of Polar Express which is one of her favorite night time movies (year round)...which seems perfectly appropriate for how Avery faces life...
Believing!
xo
Cheryl and Mike

The best of times...

(l. to r.) Cheryl, me, Jennifer, and (seated) mom.

My sister Cheryl (Avery's mom), invited us to a fundraising dinner in Boston last week, to benefit my niece's heart transplant surgeon, Dr. Francis Fynn Thompson. Dr. Fynn Thompson returns to his native Ghana at least once a year (but preferably twice) to do life-saving open heart surgeries on children there. More importantly, the team that travels there is teaching the medical staff there so that they will be able to continue his work and have a cardiac surgery program of their own in Ghana.

The evening was wonderful. We laughed and talked with Avery's doctors and nurses, ate some wonderful food, and contributed to an amazing cause.

And speaking of my niece, Avery has been up and walking - on her own - in the hospital garden. She is progressing wonderfully and we believe she is on the path to going home in the near future.

Life is not linear...

It is not a neat and tidy progression in one direction. This is not a major revelation, of course, but I think sometimes, with clocks to measure time, and calendars to count the days and weeks and months and years, we expect a linear journey...and then we are reminded that it really doesn't work that way.



I had every intention of posting an update after my niece was released from the hospital in January... we celebrated Christmas on Valentine's day and our hearts were full of gratitude for her homecoming. In a very short time, Avery was back in preschool and life for her and her parents regained some normalcy...



But before I got around to posting that wonderful post, Avery was admitted to the hospital again this weekend, where she was treated for dehydration and the formation of some blood clots in her heart. She is now stable, but she may remain in the hospital for a couple of weeks while they monitor her and try to figure out exactly what happened. We may never know. Avery is a pioneer, in many ways, so there is little precedent for the journey to a strong, healthy heart, that she is traveling. I just wanted to thank all of you who've kept her in your hearts and minds and ask that you continue to do so as we all travel this journey full if twists and turns that is life.

Gratitude today, for:

Avery's continued progress (next stop will be home, hopefully this week!)
A new cd - Zac Brown Band (Chicken Fried - I love that song!)
Pic from my friend Marilyn's 60th birthday party (see here)
Lingerie sale at Macys - $9.99 bras - that's only $5 a cup!!
White broccoli lasagna, friends & family (for dinner tonight)
...and so many things too numerous to list. I am wealthy, blessed.

A visit with "Cutes"...

My niece Avery continues to make great progress, and we are very hopeful that she'll be out of the cardiac ICU this week and in a regular room, which is the next step before she (and her parents) gets to go home.

I visited with my dad & sister Jennifer this weekend, and we were thrilled to see her REAL personality, which has been subdued by the slow healing process until now...and subdued is not an adjective that would normally describe Avery -- even when she's sleeping.

Fortunately, the Avery we saw was mischievous, cute, giggly, short-tempered, funny, thirsty, amused, affectionate, determined, sarcastic, thoughtful, demanding, dramatic, feisty, bossy, and adorable, to name just a few. (Oh, and amazing. Really. And I'm not just saying that because I'm her aunt.)

Just art!

Here's a journal page exercise that I created about a month ago when I got together with my friends Laura and Marilyn. Laura "prompted" us to cut out magazine faces and then have fun doodling around them.

I am off to visit my niece at Children's Hospital (Boston) this weekend, so this post is brief.

Thank you all for your caring and inspiring comments. Your words are a source of strength and comfort and sheer joy!!

Avery welcomes the winter!

Happy first day of winter everyone! Sorry for the long delay. Tis the season to fall behind on virtually everything. Add to the regular busy-ness of the holidays an ice storm that left me (and much of the Northeast)without power for days, and blogging just falls to the bottom of the list for awhile!

So the news of the day is that my niece is recovering from 2 major open heart surgeries, and is coming through like the tough cookie we all know and love. Today a hospital employee brought her 2 big buckets of fresh snow from last night's storm which she promptly decided she had to taste!! (see the picture above) She's still on breathing assistance for a few days, but slowly being taken off of machines and meds as her body gradually takes over all of the work by itself.

I thank you all for your words of support, prayers and good wishes. I pass them on daily to her parents and they have helped everyone to get through this time knowing how many wonderful people are thinking of their daughter.

No Christmas shopping is necessary this year. Avery's recovery is all we could ever ask for!

Avery rocks!

My heartfelt thanks to all of you who've kept my amazing (if I do say so myself) niece --and her parents & family -- in your thoughts and prayers this week. She was in surgery for 10 hours to work on her left ventricle and also to receive a mechanical heart valve. She will be sedated for at least another 24 hours, but her stats have been great and I've been told she looks excellent. FYI - she frequently looks very puffy and swollen for many days after her surgeries, and my sister and mom have been particularly pleased with how she looks this time, which is one of many signs that her heart is working better than it was before the surgery.

She still has another procedure ahead, and depending on how her stats hold up once she is awake and moving around, it may be done before the Christmas holiday (before scar tissue can build up), so I will continue to update you all on her progress and to ask for you to continue to keep her close in your hearts and minds.

In the meantime, I leave you with Avery's rendition of "These boots are made for walkin'" (or is it, Steak on the Roses??)inside joke

FYI, if any of you have been wondering, Avery is in the care of an amazing surgeon, cardiologist and medical professionals in the cardiac unit at Children's Hospital in Boston.

I am planning to see her this coming weekend, and will give a first-hand update at that time!!!
-Aunt Kerri signing off for now.

Sweet and strong...

After a somewhat sudden, though not entirely unexpected turn of events, my niece Avery will be undergoing her fifth open heart surgery either Wednesday or Thursday of this week, to replace her aortic valve and continue to correct a congenital heart defect.

I am asking my blog readers to send all of your positive thoughts, good wishes and prayers her way. This strong, feisty four-year-old is my biggest hero and these recent pics don't begin to capture her enormous personality

Never borrow trouble...

...imaginary things are harder to bear than real ones.

I don't know who to credit with this quote, but I found it in the sidebar of a book I am reading and it has kept me grounded these past few days. My reality is a wealth beyond measure of amazing friends and family, (and blog readers - thank you!!) a great little home, good health and of course, Max the wunder-schnauzer to name just the highlights. My imaginary worries got the best of me last week - worries about the future, which, if you really think about it, is imaginary. There is no other moment than now. So now is where I am living today.

And speaking of now, I am now the proud owner of a trunk-turned-coffee-table, which I found for a steal while antiquing with a girlfriend this weekend. I am hoping it holds up better than the checkerboard table, though I have yet to test it on my family. It looks pretty durable, but I haven't dropped a 220-pound man on top of it yet. If I do, you'll be the first to know!

Another year older...

and deeper in debt!

and yet, I am incredibly rich in friends and family, without which nothing else would matter. It's amazing how perspective changes with the passing years. When I was in my early teens, I remember imagining what the world would be like in the year 2000, which seemed light years away.And then I did the math, and realized to my twelve-year-old horror that I would be -- egads -- 36 years old in the year 2000. I would be so old that I wouldn't even be able to enjoy the new milennium!! Seriously,I recall feeling this way. Fortunately I am much younger now than when I was twelve.

I was a dreadfully serious child at twelve. ("Wednesday's child is full of woe" - yes, I was born on a Wednesday). And I worried about EVERYTHING --which, of course, was mostly nothing, but at the time the most minute details seemed the cause for great angst in my life. Homework, teachers, clothes, my thighs, a single zit on my chin, my thighs --the physical worries alone could fill entire paragraphs on my blog.
Add to that puberty, public speaking and sports, and I just wanted to spin a coccoon and emerge as a butterfly, skipping my teens entirely.

There are moments when the thought of that coccoon still sounds inviting, but most of the time these days, I am ready to face the world head on, and enjoy each day for the gift that it is.

On my birthday, my wish is for all of us to recognize the gift of every passing day.

(and also that I win the mega millions lotto or some other great fortune).

Back from the Vineyard...

I had a wonderful time with family out on Martha's Vineyard at the end of last week. The trip was short but very sweet. The weather was a mix of sun and rain, but that was of no matter. We are really fortunate that we truly enjoy one another's company so much. I don't take that for granted. It is also great fun to spend time in the company of a 4-year old, particularly my niece, who is so funny and creative, with a flair for drama that can't possibly be captured in this blog. When I arrived, we discovered that Avery and I were wearing the same outfit...


One of our favorite stops on the Vineyard is always beadniks, which is a visual delight and an assault on the pocketbook. Many of their thousands of beads are handmade in exotic locales, so I understand the prices, but it's still always a surprise to leave with empty pockets and such a teeny tiny bag of treasures! But it allowed us to spend the rainy time in a lovely house making jewelry. I don't have any of our creations here as I write this post, but I'll post pictures soon. We made some fun and funky pendants, using a variety of materials.

Now I am spending this week playing catch-up at work and at home, but I wanted to take a moment to post -- and to say thank you to my faithful visitors, who never fail to brighten my day with words of friendship and support. I'll end this post with one of my hand-drawn, digitally enhanced illustrations...

Peace....

On the eve of Sept. 11, I thought this digital collage would be fitting (It's not new so you may have seen it before). My apologies to my faithful readers that I have not been much of a blogger of late. In addition to my personal divorce drama, it's just my super-busy season at work. And what better time to sneak off for 4 days on Martha's Vineyard with my family than when work is piling up? So that's where I am off to. I am so lucky to be able to sponge off my sister for the lodging and my dad for the ride, and for the opportunity to get together with them all!!!

Peace to you all. And I hope to have more time to blog soon!!

Ta da list for June (late) and other stuff...

Wow. The month of June came and went without my monthly list of creative pursuits. I did have a lot of other things on my mind, but I was still able to do a few things:

I read a book -- More than you know by Beth Gutcheon
I made a few rings & necklaces on the Vineyard, after shopping at Beadniks
and I taught 2 classes.

For me, summer is a time to switch creative gears a bit, so this list would have been shorter than usual even without the personal junk going on. I love to spend some of my creative energies in my garden, and also fill the well by reading, visiting antique stores, and roaming the countryside, both on foot and via car, taking photos and exploring. People often think of the city when they think of New York, but the landscape upstate is ripe with rolling hills, beautiful valleys, farms, and quaint towns that beg to be appreciated at this time of year. I am also spending a lot more time with family and friends this summer.

This weekend, I head outside Boston to visit my sister and niece, along with my mom and Max. We're helping my sister with a yard sale. In addition to the regular treasures you'd expect to find, we're making up "mystery bags" to give away with every purchase!! Oh, the suspense!!! My niece has also decided to sell my mom's husband, "Poppy Dick" for "fivey-eight dollars," which I think is a bargain for a guy who can cook.

I leave you this week with a picture of my sunflowers - planted by the birds who dropped them from their feeder in the early spring. They are better gardeners than I am! My own attempts never grew like these!!

I also want to say thank you to all of my blog readers for stopping by and for those who leave comments that make me feel so fortunate. I wish I could thank you all in person with a hug and a handmade gift of thanks, but in the meantime, I want you all to know how much I appreciate you. Okay, enough mushiness, have a great weekend everyone, and if you're in the Hopkington, Mass. area, there's a mystery bag with your name on it!!

A mini vacation...

I am off to join my sisters and (pictured here) my niece, for a vacation on Martha's Vineyard. I will return next week, with fun stories about our girly week adventures.

Gratitude...

The heartbeat of our family is my niece Avery, who, as I began this post, was undergoing her fourth open heart surgery to repair a congenital defect (hypoplastic left heart syndrome). She is a constant reminder to all of us of what is truly important in life, and what is not. She is a gift, a balm, a constant source of hope, and strength and unconditional love. If I am feeling angry, or petty or in any way less than charitable, I have only to think of her to set me back on the right path.

She is now out of surgery, and reports from my sister and her surgeon confirm that she has done amazingly well and her "stats" are excellent. She will need to be sedated for several days as she begins to heal, so if you read this post, please say a prayer, think a happy thought, hug a loved one -- for Avery!

Sisters...

My sisters and I got together for my dad's birthday on Saturday night. I cannot say enough good things about my sisters. We all have busy lives now, so we don't get together as often as we'd like, but when we do, it's the most comfortable of relationships, where we know each other so well that there is no effort at all involved in being together. They are smart, funny, energetic and just really good people.

It was a rather typical family gathering - a delicious dinner, a fabulous dirty martini (okay two) made by my sister Cheryl , my sister Jennifer making sure that everything runs smoothly, a little meltdown from my 3-year-old-niece, who has been battling all of the usual plagues of daycare, and quiet conversations as the evening wound down. I had also meant to stop on my way into town to take a picture of the Catskill mountains a little beyond peak for leaf peepers but still a breathtaking backdrop to my home town, but when approached the turn for dad's, I was anxious to get there, as I always am, and didn't take the moment to stop. I should have, because by the time I visit again, the mountains will be bare, or snow-capped. One of these years, I will actually slow down and take it in.