words.

Words usually come easily to me. These days, I find myself choking on them. I suspect it’s because the thoughts and feelings I need to express are not pleasant, and I don’t want to put them on paper and make them real. Own them. Admit to them. I am an expert at pushing it all down and putting on a happy face, but if you don’t own the bad stuff along with the good, it comes up with a vengeance, like a projectile vomit of bad words and feelings that leave a horrid taste in the mouth and a feeling like a boulder pressing on my chest.
Wow. WTF? Did I just say that?
Someone made a comment over the weekend that really pissed me off.I am not sure if it was intentional and mean, or just stupid and thoughtless. Either way, I should have said something at the time, but the circumstances were such that I chose to put it off for too long. And now it's festering inside me. If I say something now, it seems like way too little too late. So instead, I take it out on canvas.

Drowning.
8 x 8 mixed media & collage on canvas
This is one of two pieces that will be in the next Art de Cure exhibit from July 19-Oct 15. The theme is "Make a Splash."

Priceless...

13 party dresses ruined with tie dye--$585.
13 tie-dyed t-shirts--$130.
One grandmother in a rented shark costume--$82...
And the local police responding to the 9-1-1 call from a
terrified 5-year old at Avery's party--PRICELESS.

So this is how it went down. First, I told my sister that I saw no reason for the girls to wear smocks to do TIE DYE. (DYE being the operative word here folks). I had done it myself and didn't make a mess, so I had every confidence that a group of 13 little girls hopped up on sugar would also be perfectly neat and tidy. -- Oh, and I wanted to dress like a hippie in honor of the craft, but my headband made me look like much more like Pocahontas than Joni Mitchell. Meanwhile, the "theme" of the party was Avery's favorite cartoon - Charlie & Lola. And Avery also likes sharks, so grandma Gigi volunteered to sport the (very warm, on a summer day) shark suit. Any other ideas we can roll into one birthday??

So first, it was introductions, pretty party dresses, and pizza. Then tie dye, very messy party dresses, and tears from one little girl who actually cared that her dress was totally trashed.

And then there was a knock at the door! The shark arrived! Five little girls screamed, four little girls cried, three little girls laughed, AND one little girl calmly retreated to the home office and called 9-1-1... The police officer was very nice. He didn't handcuff Gigi the shark and he wished Avery a very happy birthday.

Happy Birthday Avery!! This one's going to be hard to top!

Lost and found

I found this little girl's ballet slipper while walking Max the other day. We walk on a path that passes a local elementary school, so it's not entirely uncommon to find all sorts of things that kids lose along the way. In this case, it wasn't exactly lost as I had to wrestle it off the little ballerina's foot, and she put up quite a fuss for a seven-year old, but it was worth it!

Okay, I'm kidding.
Really. I would never do such a thing.
Ever. Almost never.
Not even for my art.
Well, maybe.

Anyway, it may be years before I find the perfect art piece in which to incorporate this well-worn little slipper. It's owner may well be starring in Swan Lake by that time. Or perhaps after our little altercation she has decided to play soccer instead!

And the winners are...

It's serendipitous that it worked this way- but all three winners received their first choice, and the three winning names chose #1, #2, and #3, in that order.

--Mylyne, #1
-- Laura, #2
-- Annette, #3

Mylyne, please email me at kerristabile@gmail.com with your mailing address, and I'll get your collage in the mail right away. Laura, I have your address, so yours is coming soon, and Annette, if it's not too much trouble, I can save postage if you stop by my house!

Thank you all for your comments about the rain. You all reminded me that when I am not coercing my dog to walk or wiping my limp locks out of my face, there are dozens of reasons to love a rainy day. Now it's back to some much needed housework! I had a yard sale over the weekend, and while my rooms and closets are more spacious, I left utter chaos in my wake, and I have to clean it up before I go on to the next project!

400th blog post - an an art giveaway

Normally, I hate rainy days. I don't like how dark and damp and cold my house gets. I hate venturing out through puddles, saddled with an umbrella that never works right. Walking Max is monumental chore in the rain, since he can't hold his own umbrella and he hates getting wet. And rainy days are synonymous with bad hair days in my world...

But it was drought-like in Upstate NY until the beginning of June, when it poured buckets, and for once I embraced a dark, damp day by curling up on my sofa with Max, a cup of coffee, an an overdose of HGTV. I also turned on my beeswax pot, and made a few little 5 x 5 beeswax collages...

Here they are:




Which brings me to my blog giveaway!

#1 my heart, thy heart
#2 twilight comes
#3 garden fairie

Just leave a comment telling me what you like about rainy days - and also rank from 1-3 which of these pieces you would like to receive if you win. On Monday, June 21, (the longest day of the year!!) I will pull three names at random as the recipients. The first name chosen will get their first choice, and I will try to honor your choice if you're second or third, based on what's left. I will announce the three winners on June 22, and ask you to contact me via email with your mailing address.

FYI, for those of you who've participated in past giveaways, I have learned a lot during my 400 blog posts - and one thing I've finally learned is to have the giveaway items wrapped & ready to go BEFORE offering the giveaway (I was not always so efficient!!). So these pieces are ready and waiting for mailing addresses and I promise you will not wait ages to receive them if you win.

I want to thank you all so much for visiting, and sharing your thoughts and support and inspiration with me.

And the winner is...

La Dolce Vita! Congratulations, Caterina. I've sent your email address to my contact at CSN stores and they will be sending you an online store gift certificate worth $50 toward any of their merchandise.

And, funny how things work - I promised that post number 400 would be a handmade giveaway... forgetting that the next post would be this announcement...BUT in a strange twist of fate, I didn't know that blogger counts blog "drafts" as posts...so this post is actually number 399, and my next post -- number 400 will be my handmade giveaway tomorrow... so stay tuned!!!

FYI - This digital collage was inspired by Caterina's favorite thing about summer (and definitly one of mine)...the color GREEN!!!

Post #399 - with a giveaway...

Hi there, friends!

Do you need a new sofa? dog bed? hammock? bar? I was recently contacted by CSN stores to offer a free $50 blog giveaway, and I thought that blog post number 399 would be a great time to say thanks to my faithful readers as well as new readers who may visit, by passing this offer on to you.*

Here's how it works.
Leave a comment telling me what you love best about summertime, between now and next Monday, June 14. On June 15, I will pick a name at random as the winner. I will need to contact the winner and provide CSN stores with your email address -- they will send you a $50 gift certificate via email for online shopping at one of their 200 online stores. If you do not wish to leave your email address in the comments section of my blog, then leave your comment on my blog and send your email address to me separately (at kerristabile@gmail.com).

Here are a few of my favorite CSN stores...

http://www.everyhomebar.com/
http://www.theoutdoorartstore.com/
http://www.everyhammock.com/
http://www.allkitchencarts.com/

*Unfortunately, because this giveaway is being sponsored by an online store, it is only available to readers in the U.S. and Canada, where they ship their products. I do apologize for this limitation... but just fyi, I will be posting my own giveaway for blog post #400, and I have no shipping limitations, so stay tuned!

Quote of the day...

I don't want to get to the end of my life an find I have lived just the length of it. I want to live the width of it as well.
-- Diane Ackerman

I am busy living the length and width of my life these days, so I've had little time to post. Okay, in truth, I've been playing in my garden and soaking up sunshine (and chardonnay) - that counts, right? It's been sunny and warm in Upstate NY these days, and I have no desire to be at a computer when the sun is shining.

Also, I have a new camera, but I am suffering from my typical new-technology inertia, and have yet to use it or load the software on my computer... and a blog without photos is, well, just words (duh!).

Happy June! I'll be back again when it rains!!

Art Gone Wild 2010

I knew when I signed on for this exhibit that I would enjoy creating works for it. I don't think there exists a more powerful and endless source of creativity than we can find in nature. Last night, without much thought, I just decided I wanted to work with beeswax. I haven't done beeswax collage for awhile, and the little crock of hardened wax and quilting iron were calling to me (even before the glass of wine!). I stayed up way too late because once I started, I didn't want to stop. The result of my late night was these three beeswax collage canvasses. FYI, for those who may wonder, I used regular children's crayons to tint the wax. The process is so satisfying, from the aroma of hot beeswax to the flow of colors as they melt and move, to the composition, I just can't wait to make a few more tonight.

happiness once there
beeswax collage
6 x 6 deep set canvas


went away
beeswax collage
6 x 6 deep set canvas


they hold the key
beeswax collage
6 x 6 deep set canvas

Unfortunately, while my work will be on display with my fellow artists, I will miss the opening day event on June 5, which includes some very cool demos. I would encourage anyone who has some free time on June 5 and lives in the Albany, NY area to stop by. The Five Rivers nature preserve is worth the visit on any day, and the demos just add to a great day out for both kids and adults

Please join us at First Friday in Albany...

On the 1st Friday of every month, downtown Albany (NY) celebrates a "fun and funky" arts night, administered by the Upstate Artists Guild. Participating art galleries, museums, bars and clubs offer live music art exhibits, open houses and special events.

Along with my fellow artists and friends Marilyn Rock and Carole Fults, we will be exhibiting new works at the Albany Art Room, -- 457 Madison Avenue -- with an opening reception tomorrow night, May 7, from 5-7 pm, and we'd love it if you stopped by. (Technically, the opening is from 5-9 pm, but I am not sure that any of the artists are able to stay that late, so you may miss us if you arrive after 7 pm).

The title of our exhibit is Alternate Substrates and includes artworks created on fence posts, antique tools, cabinet doors and window screens to name a few. Here is one of my pieces that will be in the exhibit...

R.I.P. - SONY Cybershot - 2006-2010

At long last, I took my camera for repair, and the parts/labor will cost more than $120, so I will be shopping for a new digital camera very soon. If those of you reading this have any input, I welcome it. I am looking for something under $200, that can take rapid shots and is small/very portable (not quite like yours Marilyn!) The one thing I have never liked about my Cybershot is that unlike the original tv commercial that showed a woman leaping out of her restaurant chair to get a super-fast photo of Steven Tyler, it took forever for the camera to focus and shoot. It's amazing that I was able to capture nature or action of any kind, and I frequently missed the "moment."

Holy Toledo, it's ta da list time!!!!

Where did the month of April go? As usual, I have bitten off a bit more than I can chew these days, and I am looking at my calendar with feelings of both joyful anticipation and dread at the same time. Does this happen to everyone, or just me? I think I am going to have to get into the habit of actually penning onto my calendar some down time, and scheduling the act of doing nothing in the same way that I schedule everything else.

In spite of how daunting my calendar looks these days, I am really feeling exhilarated by life lately. I don't know exactly what has changed - me perhaps? Could that be? I just know that the more distance I put between me and my marriage, and life "before," the better I feel, about everything. I feel like I am becoming me, more and more. And truthfully, I had no idea how un-me I had become -- how much energy I invested in reacting to someone else, instead of living my own life.

So this is what's been keeping me busy this month...
I taught art journal class number three with Marilyn;
Designed a new logo for my friend Brenda's business..."Cleo's House of Crafts/Home Collection";
Experimented in monoprinting (and a flip video) using Elastack;
Made plans for a fabric-paper workshop with Marilyn coming in June;
Participated in an art exhibit called Art de Cure to benefit diabetes research (and sold two out of three pieces so far!!)
Enjoyed a wonderful art date with my friend Peggy to make heart paintings (super fun day!!);
Created a swap journal page for/with my friend Melanie;
Began a new web design with Melissa from Stampassion (it's coming, I swear!!);
and,
Hung artwork for a new exhibit that opens Friday at the Albany Art Room (called Alternate Substrates)...

These are two of several pieces that will be in the show.
Fly Home

18 x 24, mixed media assemblage on window screen



Letters Home
9 x 12, mixed media assemblage on mailbox door

Art connects us...

Late last week, I received word that another of my pieces in the Art de Cure exhibit had sold. This time, the note came from the person who purchased it, and I was truly moved that she had taken the time to write to me, and to share with me that she identified with this piece.

My art is an extension of myself - a visual expression of my ideas and beliefs, my experiences, my thoughts and feelings - and when someone wants to own a piece of it, I feel so connected to our source, to our common experiences.

And I feel so grateful for living my true life and doing what I know I was put here to do.

Sold!

I was thrilled to learn that one of my pieces sold on opening night of an exhibit that benefits Art de Cure, a local charitable organization. I am usually pretty comfortable participating in art exhibits, but I was self-conscious as I left my pieces for this show, as my work is mixed media, and very non-traditional. When I looked around the room, most of the other work that I saw was very traditional --matted and framed paintings -- and I felt as though my pieces would stick out like a sore thumb and looked too casual and haphazard.

So it's nice to know that someone "got me" so to speak.
See the listing at the right if you are interested in visiting this exhibit, which will be on display until mid-June.

Happy Birthday Cutes!!!

"A whole circle" older!

My niece Avery turns six years old today. During a recent conversation about her time in the hospital from 2008 to 2009, she commented that it was "a whole circle!"

I love the way kids -- and this one in particular -- look at life and make observations. I've done 45 circles myself, and I'm suddenly feeling dizzy!!!

The voices in my head...

Those who know me well know that I can talk alot. A LOT. A really, really lot. But if you could hear the inner dialogue, the one in my head that virtually never shuts up, you'd wonder how I could ever have a coherent thought or idea. And you'd no doubt be grateful that for all that I talk about, there is so much that I don't share. Because, in fact, a lot of it is imaginary.

Imaginary conversations, imaginary arguments, little scenarios that I run through my mind when things are bothering me but I have yet to act on them. Sometimes I am trying certain ideas on for size, and seeing what might or might not work. And sometimes this is good, but often, I think it's just a very big waste of mental energy on what-ifs. On problems that don't even really exist, but that I make up in my overactive imagination. I don't think I am alone in this. Or maybe I am. I am told that meditation helps, but it may come as no surprise that I am not very good at meditation BECAUSE I CAN'T SHUT MY MIND UP!!

For me, art is my best form of meditation. It anchors me in the here and now. It quiets my overactive mind. Instead of mulling over the I should haves and the I wish I hadn'ts and the what ifs, I engage my eyes and hands and mind in a form of creation. Art is real. It is now.

We've flipped!!!

My amazing friend and artist Marilyn recorded me doing a demo last Thursday night with her flip video. We're preparing for an exhibit and demos at the 5 Rivers Nature Preserve in Delmar, NY in June, and Marilyn has a new toy... a Flip video recorder.

The link is below, if you're interested, but I feel the need to preface it with a few explanations:

1. I am not endorsing Bandaids, although I should, and I recommend the flexible fabric kind. Prior to this video, I had been working outdoors and ended up with blisters on both hands. I think it's a great look when doing an art demo.

2. I am not bleeding in the video. That's acrylic paint all over my hands. I have no idea how I became covered in acrylic paint 40 seconds into the recording, but why should I be any neater on film than I usually am?

3. I am not using acrylic "ink" as I repeatedly say in the video. I am using acrylic paint - regular inexpensive craft store acrylic paint.

4. I was doing okay up until the 4-minute mark, where I forgot a step -- and turned a perfectly good monoprint into a complete mess. I actually knew when I messed up, and I should have yelled "CUT," but I was mesmerized by the fact that it was being filmed and I didn't want to mess up the flow, so I just acted as though I totally intended to smoosh all that paint over a perfectly good monoprint and obliterate it.

5. FYI...this is a very early sneak peak of a class on printmaking that I will be doing in the fall. By then, I'll have new bandaids in new places!

6. I do mumble a bit in spots. I apologize. I thought I was speaking out loud, but the video doesn't lie!

In spite of the flaws, I had fun with this, and Marilyn and I plan to offer more techniques & sneak peeks in the future.

So, if, after that intro, you are still interested, here it is!

Journal swap page...

My friend Melanie and I began a swap journal TEN years ago, which we never finished. A number of circumstances in our lives at the time made us set aside our journals, and new opportunities in life and art kept us from resuming our swap...until this year, when my friend Marilyn and I began teaching a new art journal class. So Mel and I decided to pick up where we left off. This swap is unique in that we both started with an expandable "scrapbook" type of journal, where the pages can be removed. It's a great way to swap because we can work on pages and then just give the pages to one another to insert into our own journals. Although we each designed our own covers, the insides of our journals are essentially the same because when we swap pages, we also make one for ourselves. So (in theory) at the end of this swap, we will each have a very similar, if not identical journal with a personalized cover. I say "in theory" because in this case, I have finished Mel's page, but not the one for my own journal. And I have so many projects on my plate these days that I fear I will never get to it. So for the sake of remembering what the page looks like before I pass it on, here it is. We went with a spring time theme, since we've been enjoying some wonderful springtime weather lately --and also because, by April in upstate NY, we are sooooo ready for spring, even if it takes its time getting here.

I may still add just a few additional details, but I was pretty pleased with the overall composition.

A prayer in spring

Oh, give us pleasure in the flowers today;
And give us not to think so far away
As the uncertain harvest; keep us here
All simply in the springing of the year.

Oh, give us pleasure in the orchard white,
Like nothing else by day, like ghosts by night;
And make us happy in the happy bees,
The swarm dilating round the perfect trees.

And make us happy in the darting bird
That suddenly above the bees is heard,
The meteor that thrusts in with needle bill,
And off a blossom in mid air stands still.

For this is love and nothing else is love,
The which it is reserved for God above
To sanctify to what far ends He will,
But which it only needs that we fulfill.

--Robert Frost

Creativity...

I recently finished reading Sonia Choquette's book, The Answer is Simple...Love Yourself, Live Your Spirit!, and I have just come across a quote that I love...

One of the problems that distances so many of us from our creative Spirit is the notion that being creative is synonymous with being a professional or aspiring artist. It's not. It simply means making something new out of something that presently exists.

When we look at creativity that way, who among us can say they're not creative? We are always altering our world. Anyone who has ever cooked a meal has made something new out of something that presently exists. Or anyone who has ever written a letter. Or wrapped a gift. Or torn a page out of a magazine. We are in the constant act creating and re-creating our world.

So go create something...
(I would like to create a nap right about now).

Above: Carborundum print-heart with wing on scrap paper.